a few days later.

as i said yesterday, emme has been getting progressively better since the most intense day of the outbreak (friday).  here's a little snapshot of her from this morning, investigating me trying to get ready for work.  my mom found a traiteur named anatole aka tib who is treating emme from south louisiana and says her ears will be well in two days.  i love cajuns. 

reactions and over-reactions.

these ear infections are tapping me out.  i feel like an idiot for complaining, because i absolutely know that this is nothing in the grand scheme - absolutely nothing compared to lots of things i've seen other parents go through with their littles.  we are amazingly blessed and fortunate to have a bebe who has really had no major issues at all.  but the hint of any discomfort in my girl just breaks me down (as i'm sure it does for all parents).  anyway.  emme's first ear infection was the week of thanksgiving, in louisiana.  she had fever, wasn't sleeping, was fussy, etc.  i took her to a walk-in clinic, where she got a prescription for amoxycillin.  it seemed to (basically) do the trick.  until a few weeks later, the week before christmas or so, there was more fever, more fussiness, and more ear-tugging.  back to the doctor, and the diagnosis of yet another ear infection.  this time, they prescribed omnicef, so she was back on an antibiotic.  fast forward to MLK day (why does this always seem to happen on holidays?) and she woke up with a fever AGAIN.  i should clarify that, ideally, i am not the kind of mother who runs to the doctor at every sign of a temp.  but, as a working mom with a kiddo in daycare, i don't really have a choice but to bring her when she has fever on a weekday.  i have to be able to know whether i can take her back to school or what.  anyway.  back to the doctor again, and, you guessed it, another ear infection.  yeesh.  so, this time our doctor decided we should try augmentin, a ten-day, twice-a-day antibiotic to try to nip it in the bud.  she warned of tubes, but we were all hopeful that this stronger 'script and the promise of spring would keep us in the clear in that regard. 

so.  wednesday morning was day 8 of the augmentin.  she woke up and had a little welt on her cheek, but i assumed a mosquito had gotten into her room in the night and bitten her (yes, in texas we have mosquitoes all year round).  i brought her to school, as usual, and got a call around 9:40 that she was having an allergic reaction.  i'm lucky in that i have never really had a reaction to anything, but i had NO idea how to react to this situation.  i called her doctor, justin, and my mom in the 6 minutes it took me to drive to her school (amazingly, i was working from home that day).  the doctor said not to be concerned unless she was having trouble breathing, but to bring her in as soon as i picked her up.  when i got her, she was in good spirits, but her one "mosquito bite" had turned in to a fun little party of hives on her tummy, back, scalp, neck, and face. 

the doctor (not our usual pediatrician and one i'm not crazy about) diagnosed a penicillin allergy and told me to discontinue the augmentin (duh) and to give emme zyrtec for the reaction.  she said i may see hives come and go for a week or so, but that it was fine for e to return to school.  she also said despite 8 days of faithful medication, her ear infection was still in full force, so she needed to get on zithromax, yet ANOTHER antibiotic.  four different ones in three months - yay. 

so.  thursday morning her hives are much worse.  i call the doctor, they say this is normal and probably due to her being warmer while sleeping.  i believe them, so i bring emme to school.  i head to work, worried out of my mind, but trying to just be calm and get my job done so i can go get her.  in a morning meeting, we are discussing kids, i mention this allergic reaction that's going on with mine, and a woman tells me her daughter had this same response to augmentin, only she was diagnosed with erythema multiforme.  i do some googling and discover that this issue is basically hives on crack, and can cause breathing issues and damage to internal organs, etc.  i begin alternately flipping out and staying super calm.  i can make the argument for why she definitely has this condition just as readily as i can make the argument for why there's no way.  but it's obviously super scary, especially being away from her and knowing that she was in a class full of kids where they may not be noticing every slight thing going awry.  the straw that broke the camel's back was when the school called me right before 4:00 (i had a conference call at 4 that i was supposed to lead) to ask me if i could come early and give her some respite.  they said she had fever and seemed worse than that morning.  the emotions and helplessness of the day took over at that point, and a super gracious co-worker told me to leave and that she would handle my call. 

when i got to school, i could tell that e was worse, but nothing overwhelmingly scary.  breathing was still normal, she had been eating, etc.  her fever seemed to be more related to her ear infection, but the doctor on duty when i'd called thursday said to discontinue the zithromax.  so, i made an appointment for friday, kept an eye on her, and got her down early thursday night. 

friday morning brought the height of rash intensity.  holy.  you can see days 1, 2, and 3 below.  it was like she had turned in to a pink giraffe.  again, she was acting normal, but with a fever of over 101 and her skin looking like a topographical map, there was no way i was sending her to school.  justin stayed home with her in the morning and we let her watch tv (she never gets to watch tv) to try to keep her still/resting.  she was interested in that for about 5 minutes, but took a good long nap.  then, i came home from work and brought her to her afternoon appointment.  the doctor who had seen her wednesday saw her again friday afternoon.  she seemed unsurprised by the intensity of her skin, but she had not indicated to me that it would/could get worse, so obviously i was a little freaked out.  she also told me the inside of emme's ears looked like raw meat.  awesome.  she said to put her back on the zithromax, and prescribed an oral steroid to help the hives.  i filled it and decided to see how she looked saturday morning before giving it to her (also didn't want to hype her up right before bed on friday). 

amazingly, miraculously, when she woke up on saturday morning, she looked almost completely normal.  the welts on her legs looked mostly like chicken pox scars, and there was just some very faint swirling on her tummy and back.  i could definitely tell that her skin looked different than it had before, but if you hadn't seen her the day before, you'd never have been able to tell.  she still had a decently high fever, but i kept her on ibuprofen and she was in high spirits all day.  sunday was even better, and we had NO fever after the early morning.  

today, the little bean was back at school as though none of this had gone down.  craziness.  just goes to show me that their little bodies are way more resilient than my nerves, as it took me just as long to recover from the fraying they took over the course of the week.  we were inundated with support and well-wishes and prayers, and we SO appreciate everyone's concern for our bug.  we go for her fifteen month (!) appointment on valentine's day, so we'll know more about the ears and have a course of action at that point... 

14 months.

so, on january 7, over two weeks ago now, emmeline turned 14 months old.  this has been the funnest month yet.  she is walking everywhere, full of adventure and curiosity, and learning and saying new things every day.  she drinks from an open-mouth cup (at least, when i give one to her because i'm not always keen on the possibility of spills) very well.  she signs a TON (more, milk, thirsty, hungry, done, wash hands, please, and probably a few more i can't think of right now).  it is so amazing and rewarding to be able to two-way communicate with our bebe.  she is also a little chatterbox.  she says several actual words - new this month are flower, done, bye, hello, shoes (kinda), and berries (this is a loose interpretation of berries, but it's consistent and i know what she's saying).  she also tries to say butterfly and lots of other words, but isn't quite there yet.  in addition to her "real" vocabulary, she jabbers and sings and hums constantly.  i am pretty much obsessed with her sweet little voice.
she gets more and more independent every day - a bittersweet blessing, if you ask me.  i burst with pride when she just does her own thing, but i am also so glad/relieved when she comes back to check-in with me...i'm not quite ready to cut the cord entirely, i guess.  she is in love with mardi gras beads, and we are super excited about taking her to her first parades in lafayette in february.  she likes to use utensils at meal time and gets better at it every day, even if it's a relatively messy activity.  she also loves her books and will happily spend lengths of time taking all the books off her shelf and reading to herself.  she loves being read to, as well, so when independent reading gets old, she hops up and brings whatever book she wants to read to the nearest adult, crawls in to a lap and waits expectantly for the show to start.  i love this about her, as you can well imagine.
emme knows a lot about her body so far.  she can point to her head, hair, eyes, ears, mouth, nose, belly, bee-bo (belly button), knees, and toes.  she gets really excited about pointing out our noses and mouths as well.  she knows lots of animal sounds: elephant, lion, cat, dog, duck, mouse, owl, monkey, cow, and sheep.  old macdonald is one of her favorite songs (and books) these days.  i think hearing her say "roar" in her little voice is my favorite thing.
we are working on a few things here at the browne house.  e is not a fan of staying seated, so there are lots of reminders to stay on our bottoms while eating.  we also have to reinforce not to feed the dogs from the table, to keep our food in our mouths, to keep our food on our plate (instead of the floor), and to put our work away in the bins when we're done.  obviously, she is young and i know these things all take time.  i just wanted to start early so there would be constant reinforcement.
emme loves her shoes and will grab a pair and hold it straight up, following you around the house until you put them on her.  she is also super affectionate and doles out kisses and hugs every time they are requested.  her dada is a particular fan of the kisses.  she loves to be upside down and to "fly" around the house with dada.  she loves living room dance parties.  she loves her dogs.  she's starting to get puzzles and will applaud for herself when she fits a piece in its place.  she is still a great eater.  her sleep has been struggling a little the past week or so, probably from the ear infection and maybe more teeth, but i'm optimistic that we will plow through it.  it's hard on all of us when we're not getting a good night's sleep.  she still has ten teeth - four molars, the top two, and the bottom four.  her hair is getting longer, lighter, and curlier by the day.  she weighs 21 pounds and is an absolute joy every minute (even when she's not).  we haven't done a real photo shoot in way too long, so below are just iphone photos from the past few weeks...

it's january, y'all.

and, amazingly, january is almost over.  how did this happen?  what happened to my thoughtful, reflective  time when i decide on all the goals and feats i want to attempt and accomplish in this new year?  the last three weeks have been eaten up by justin traveling to wichita to shoot a wedding, football-watching, house projects, car troubles, and ear infections.  well, just one ear infection, but that's enough to derail a good three days around here.
anyway, in the interest of authentically capturing what our lives are like in this moment in time, i'm going to refrain from back-dating posts and trying to pretend like i'm on top of it.  that's one goal for this year.  just post when i can post, as much as i can, and try not to worry too much about what i'm going to think about it all in five years.
i've been insanely busy at work lately.  i'm running this conference in early february and it's like herding cats getting all the little pieces in a row so everything will go off without a hitch.  it's not bad, just a wee bit stressful since i'm still new and this is the first project i've managed like this.  i think it may occupy more of my mental energy than my physical energy at this point.  outside of work, we've been having a go at getting our house organized and feeling like home.  we cleaned out the garage last weekend, and that was a huge accomplishment.  i don't think either of us expected it to take the FULL weekend, but it did (and then some).  no matter, since it's done now and looks incredible.  peg boards for tools, everything aggregated with its like supplies, shelves installed, and we can now park both cars in the garage, under cover.  this is a first since moving to texas.  i think the only thing left to do is have someone figure out why my garage door works automatically, but jb's is a manual open/close only.
this past weekend, justin began the pressure-washing project of 2012 and completed 2/3 sides of the fence in the backyard.  it's insane how much dirt can accrue on a fence.  we also saw some friends this weekend, which was really nice.  it's crazy that a month used to seem like a long time between visits with friends and now it seems like we don't see most friends for entire seasons.  alas, i think it's just this time in our lives, so i'm trying not to let it make me feel too isolated.
what else?  last week ek got another ear infection - her third in less than 3 months.  we're really praying she holds out and doesn't get another one for a while, as our doc said four in six months would mean we should think about tubes.  blah - i am not at all keen on doing that to her, and i hate to see her sick, too.  so hopefully we are on our way out of this phase.  when i took her to the doctor on tuesday, my car was dead when we were heading out the door, so she and i spent a feverish and long afternoon at the car dealership getting the battery replaced, etc. that day.  keeping a slightly-ill 14 month-old entertained in coffee shops and dealership waiting rooms for 3 or 4 hours is not one of the easiest things i've ever accomplished.
this is such a weird time in our lives, i think.  it feels like everything is moving in slow motion - like we will never finish certain projects, like i am having a ridiculously hard time starting (let alone completing) very simple tasks - and yet, time is flying by faster than i can catch my breath.