january/picture overload.

where did this month go?  i love the irony of a newborn...you're awake for way more of the days than usual, and yet they all blur together so that you're really not experiencing them as you might under other circumstances.  anyway.

our sweet boy is rapidly approaching the four week mark.  i'm trying super hard not to get down on myself for not doing all the things i had done for ek by this point (namely, documenting his every coo with pictures and a blog post).  it's all going so much faster this time, i'm sad to say.  i wondered, while pregnant, if i would enjoy this newborn itty bitty stage this go-round.  emme is at such a fun age, and it's such a joy to play/communicate with her, i was a little concerned i wouldn't be in to this non-smiling eating machine phase.  but, i'm pleased to report, it's every bit as sweet and intoxicating this time as it was last time.  hollis is a little piglet, but as long as food source aka mom is nearby, he is super easy to soothe.  he also calms down pretty quickly at the sound of emme's voice, which is so cute to me (of course).  when he is mad, he is furious - it is 0 to 60 in no time at all, as if i've been starving him for days instead of him having a lapse of 45 minutes between meals.  ha.  he did weigh 9 lbs 9 oz at his two week appointment, so i guess his focus on eating is paying off.  it also helps that he doesn't spit up like a wild animal like his sister did - yay!

i am finally go-for-launch in the nursing department.  after a milk blister, plugged duct/mastitis, and a damaged nipple (all while continuing to nurse this insatiable little boy), i think my body is into a normal place.  or, as normal as it gets with a four week old.  i feel so blessed to be able to nurse my children, despite minor setbacks and pain.  i love the nursing relationship and the ease of feeding my babies any time, anywhere.  but i digress.

we haven't done much in the way of sleep yet.  bittles will go 2-3 hours at night sometimes, and i think we may have had a four hour stretch once or twice.  but so far he is mostly still sleeping on me.  i work on this a little bit every day...last night he made it from 11:30-2 swaddled in his bassinet - big step forward for me.  haha.  now if only i could motivate to re-swaddle and put him down for one more stretch...it's good to have goals, right?

i guess that's about it for the moment.  jb's mom came to visit this weekend, so that was fun.  several of the pics below are from her.  i also owe an entire post to all the awesome and hilarious things emme is saying/doing these days, but that will have to wait.

for now, here is an onslaught of pictures.  seriously, these belong in a slide show, but i am too lazy to compile one right now.  well, that and i am typing all of this one-armed while nursing my little velociraptor.

two weeks old.

wow.  so, i started a one week post and have tried to blog every day.  let's see if i can actually publish this one.

our first 2 weeks as a family of four have flown by.  i only thought things were moving fast with one kidlet...this is nuts.  my mom was here for the first week and she and dad left on sunday, so the past few days have been an attempt at learning how to do it ourselves.  i have to say, it's going much better than i anticipated...with a few asterisks.

hollis is an unbelievably good and easy baby so far.  he sleeps a lot and eats a LOT, and as long as those two things are accounted for, he's good to go.  i got a plugged duct a couple of days ago, so i have been battling fever/chills and trying to deal, but other than that everything is moving right along.  justin has been hugely helpful with everything - he's pretty much taken over all things having to do with the kitchen - so that has been amazing in terms of my stress level.  emme is adapting with grace - this girl astounds me every day.  we have definitely had some acting out and a few more tears than usual, but mostly i am just so grateful and happy that everything is going as well as it is.

we had hollis's cardio appointment yesterday.  he has gained 2 inches and weighs 9 lbs 3 oz - up from the 7 lbs 14 oz at birth.  whoa.  they did an EKG then an echocardiogram then another EKG.  the short story is that he still has the SVT.  the great news is this condition is not life threatening and should be gone by the time he's one.  the only thing is that we have to watch it - cardio appointments every couple of weeks for a while and they are recommending that we medicate him.  they want us to do beta blockers four times a day to help his heart regulate itself.  they also said to feel his heartbeat a few times a day to make sure he's not in sustained tachycardia, but i don't think that's a huge concern.  in any case, the prognosis was not as awesome as showing up and everything being hunky dory, but i'm trying to keep it all in perspective.  it didn't hurt that our cardiologist has a son who is emme's age and his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer when he was 6 months old - stories like that will really make you feel grateful for your own circumstances.

anyway...a funny story from last week.  we were giving hollis his first bath in his little tub on the kitchen counter.  i had emme stand on a chair so she could watch/participate.  well, at some point during the bath, the little dude peed all over me (only for like the 80th time - boys PEE, apparently).  mom, justin, and i all busted out laughing because it was hilarious, but emme immediately burst into tears and pointed at hollis and said "he pee peed on mommy!" with such accusation.  she was so offended on my behalf and then wanted to wipe my arm and shirt and help me clean up.  i love these babies.

the photo situation is super dysfunctional (still), so here are some random ones over the last two weeks. actual 2 week pics coming soon.

and then there were four.

where does one even begin when telling the story of how another person enters the world?  of course there are the gritty details - the ins and outs that close friends and people with a particular fascination about such things (like me) - to divulge.  but the real part...the part that involves adding a new soul to your little circle of family on earth...that is really indescribable.  

at 12:35 a.m. friday, january 4, our son hollis taylor arrived pink and screaming.  birth story, gritty details included, is below.  he weighed 7 lbs. 14 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.  the consensus so far is that he looks remarkably like his daddy, though comparison pics with his sister are pretty close too.  he is very laid back and sweet so far - nursing like a champion, sleeping a lot, making all those newborn faces and sounds that could just split your heart in a million pieces.  he hates having his diaper changed, but other than that he is a really happy boy.  loves the swaddle.  loves to lie on whomever is available.  growing stronger and more alert each day.  

in the hospital, the nurses and pediatricians could still detect his heart arrhythmia.  we were hopeful it would disappear immediately, but it did not.  we were evaluated by a cardiologist on friday evening and, though he could hear it, he did not seem overly concerned.  we will see him again next week for a repeat EKG and consult.  when we saw the pediatrician sunday morning, he could not hear the arrhythmia at all, so that is really positive news.  i know what signs to look for for sustained tachycardia, and so far so good, so we're just praying he keeps up the good work and we're in the clear with all this.  

big sister emme kay is astounding us all with how amazingly she is adapting.  i know this isn't the easiest thing she's ever had to come to terms with, and she is being so mature and sweet.  it has really really helped to have my parents in town to distract her and offer her lots of attention.  i am trying my best to talk to her about everything i'm doing (nursing is particularly fascinating, as you might imagine), and to take advantage of extra hands to put my boy down when possible so i can give her some one on one time.  i'm so so so thankful that she has school to keep her schedule somewhat steady and that she loves it so much and is so excited to go.  man, i love that girl.  

so, without further ado, here are a boat load of pics from the first 100 hours of hollis's life.  all from my iphone.  i'm a little slow on the downloads and technology stuff as i'm kind of distracted these days.  

birth story:

i know not everyone is super interested in this stuff, so feel free to skip.  i was nervous about being induced, but hopeful (if not confident) that my body would take over early on in the process and we would have a baby in short order.  my parents arrived in town around 6 on thursday night.  we got emme fed, bathed, and down for the night which made me so happy - i loved being able to give her one last night of a semi-normal routine before her little world was rocked.  at around 7:15, mom, justin, and i headed to the hospital.  i had had my membranes swept for the second time that morning and had had contractions off and on during the day, but nothing timeable or super exciting.  we got checked in and brought to our room.  we had two nurses - lauren and malea - who were both excellent.  shawntai, my doula, arrived in short order and we all sat around while we monitored the baby for a little while to make sure its heartbeat was reactive and could handle the pitocin.  dr. campaigne came in a few times and there was lots of joking and fun.  we started the pitocin drip (low dose) at around 9 pm i think - i was at about 5 cm, 80%, and -1 station.  for about an hour or hour and a half, everything was fine.  i could talk and laugh and then every once in a while i would breathe through a contraction and things were going great.  we upped the pitocin and dr. c broke my water around 10 or so and that is when things started to get real.  the contractions on pit were much harder than those i had for emme.  emme's never stopped, which was brutal to deal with (i don't think they were less than 30 seconds apart for the better part of my labor), but these were intense and wicked painful.  the saving grace was that they were 2-3 minutes apart so i did have some respite.  i was feeling a lot of pressure, so dr. c turned the pit off, hoping that my body could just take it from there, but i could feel the effect (or lack thereof) almost immediately.  it was super frustrating to feel the labor literally turning itself off, and i told everyone we needed to put it back on to keep the party going (even though i was already a little bit not in love with the pitocin).  the next two hours were pretty brutal for me.  it got way quiet and way hard.  i got in the shower with justin for a while, which really helped, but i had to try to stay on the monitor for the baby (because of the pitocin) and the machines weren't working well.  it was soooo hard to try to stay in one place and to have the pressure of those monitors on my belly and everyone feeling around, trying to get baby's heartbeat.
anyway.  dr. campaigne came it at some point and i told her i was feeling pressure and she asked if i wanted to be checked.  i am pretty sure i got a little whiny at this point - i was tired and really hurting and i remember i just kept saying "i just want it out of me - i need to push it OUT".  she checked me and i was at 7cm but baby was low and i was fully effaced.  i was furious that i was only at 7.  ha.  this is when i hit my lowest point.  i kept looking at justin and at dr. campaigne and saying i think i need the drugs, can i please just have an epidural?  it really just hurt SO badly and i was so demoralized to think it could go on for many more hours.  dr. c and i are close, though, and she looked me right in the eyes and told me she was going to help me do it.  i could tell she was gauging to see how serious i was about the drugs.  i could also see that a) i would not be able to get an epidural before i had to deal with the next horrible contraction and b) my birth team was not going to let me give up that easily (bless their hearts).  campaigne had me push through a few contractions up on hands and knees, bearing down.  that was unbelievably hard, but also really productive.  in my head, i remember trying to command my body to just let it happen.  i needed it to be fast and i was determined.  in the span of about 10 minutes or so (i think - i really have no concept of time at this point, but i know it wasn't too long), i went from 7 cm to 9 cm.  campaigne manually took me to 10 - brutal, but SO worth it and mentally really helpful to know that someone could help encourage my body along.  anyway.  as soon as she said i was there, i pushed once and out came hollis's head.  twice, and the rest of his body was out.  i seriously cannot believe how fast it all went down - i didn't even need a stitch!  i also cannot even describe how immediately i felt a bazillion times better.  it's the biggest relief of all time ever.  he was furious and they put him on my chest and we were covering him with blankets to keep his body temperature up.  he was still covered with a decent amount of vernix.  justin managed to get a peek under the blankets and he looked at me and said "mommy, we have a boy!".  he scored 9 and 9 on his apgar and we let his cord finish pulsing (mostly - i was ready to deliver the placenta, so we may have preempted it by a minute or two).  i got to keep him on me for a good while before they took him over for weights and measures.
so i guess that's it!  the rest was pretty standard, except we were really lucky that they indulged us in many things.  they did his exam in room with us, delayed his bath for about 8 or 9 hours, and even let me hold him while they did foot printing, etc.  he had swallowed a ton of fluid, so watching them stick a tube down his throat to suck it out was not fun, but it helped him nurse SO much better.
and there you have it.  my second natural birth.  hard and intense and incredible.  i am so thankful for everyone that was there.  and i am completely in love with this little boy.