recent happenings.

last week, monday (july 22), i noticed hollis's first tooth.  the next day, his second tooth joined the party. they are about halfway out now, which is adorably cute.  he's also exploring the new and exciting world of biting me while nursing.  emme used to cry and feel bad when i would ask her not to bite me.  hollis gets a mischievous grin and thinks it's hilarious.  ah, boys.  hollis is also really loving food and is eating a volume similar to what ek was eating as a one year-old, if i remember correctly.  he loves cheese (clearly his mother's child), berries, eggs, and hummus.  he opens his mouth super wide and squeaks like a baby bird during dinner.  it makes feeding him so much fun.  

last night we just did some basic boneless pork chops in the oven with an heirloom tomato salad, green beans, and sauteed spinach for dinner.  nothing super exciting.  emme is hit and miss when it comes to meat - sometimes she devours it and sometimes she's only in to fruit or whatever.  last night was apparently a meat night because she ate an entire pork chop by herself.  i seriously looked at her plate and then scanned the floor, wondering where she put the rest of it.  

emme has also been saying some hilarious things lately.  she's transitioning into cardinals this week - the 3-6 year old class at our montessori school.  it's exciting and a lot more structured, so i hope she enjoys the more challenging work.  we're working really hard on not whining/crying immediately when something is mildly out of sorts or she doesn't get what she wants instantly.  i'm trying to be patient and calm with her as much as possible - it is so tough to slow down to a child's schedule.  anyway...she's been talking a lot lately about "crashing me down".  i have no idea where this came from, but she tells me we have to be careful so the other cars don't crash us down and she sends her baby careening in her stroller and squeals about how she's crashing her baby down.  it's pretty funny.  she also recently became obsessed with the song thrift shop, which is in no way appropriate for a two year old.  she tells us frequently that she's going to pop some tags.  

other than that, we are moving right along.  the hours are long sometimes, but the weeks and months are flashing by so so fast.  

side by sides.

i've come to the conclusion that my children really don't look alike at all.  it's so odd.  they do make certain expressions that are ridiculously similar, and there are definitely similarities, but fundamentally, they don't look a thing alike - way beyond just the blonde/brunette, blue eyes/brown eyes thing.

 five months.

 five months.

 six months.

 a few weeks.

 around 12 weeks i think?

 two months.

 two months.

 three months.

four months.

six months old in pictures.

yes, this is too many pictures.  but just look at this happy drool machine.  i could eat him every day.

lately.

i've been thinking a lot lately.  there's been a lot going on.  justin lost his job at the beginning of june.  that has been a new challenge for us to face together.  it was unexpected, and i think his boss handled it very poorly, but it is what it is.  i hate thinking that people will always always disappoint you, but that's how this has made us feel.  it has been a lesson in learning to get past anger (a relatively useless emotion in these types of situations) and focus on what we can/should be doing.

we had a great holiday week with family in town and lots of swimming and home time.  ek varies day to day (or hour to hour) between being the sweetest person that i've ever met and quite the little challenge.  i never know how much of it to attribute to her being 2 and how much of it i have control over/should or could be doing something differently.

anyway.  i've been thinking about getting down to the basics and how on most days i miss executing on even the most basic of functions.  i find myself making a lot of lists in my head about things i want to be doing on a regular basis and what level of incremental happiness and life satisfaction those things will deliver.  they are things like putting on eye cream because i'm about to be 32 and let's face it i should have started that years ago.  shaving my legs more than once every ten days.  staying awake while nursing hollis before bed without using my cell phone as a distraction/stay awake device.  making my daily list each night before bed.  using my evenings for something other than collapsing on the couch to watch jeopardy and play candy crush.  wearing my hair in some style other than a messy bun meaning it's still wet 10 hours later when i take it down.  packing lunches for myself/justin.  meal planning.  figuring out a time to exercise, run the dogs, plant some flowers, organize my crafts, do one small project every day....all the things, really.

days are so short.  and i struggle with feeling like i am rushing through the motions - that daily life is a continuous cycle of loading the dishwasher, cooking the meals, folding the laundry - but i'm not relishing the joy in those everyday things.  it begs the question of what the heck the point is.  why am i working to make money to spend on more crap to deal with when i don't actually believe that most of the random crap is important at all?

justin and i have been talking for months now about our house.  we love our actual house - the structure we live in - but we don't love our neighborhood.  at all.  when we bought, it was with the idea that we'd be here 3-5 years and move somewhere else when it was time for the kidlets to start school.  we've been here two years now and i think we underestimated our yearning for a neighborhood community.  i have a lot of thoughts about community in general and the absence of it (in a general sense) in modern life.  i feel like there are some fundamentals that are just missing and seem so hard to create/find, at least for me.

i'm really just rambling.  i don't have any solutions right now.  i'm trying to feel like less of a shadow of a person - to be fully present in each moment, especially with the children.  because they are pure magic right now and they, at least, are a source of incomprehensible joy to me.  everything else that i worry about, stress about, think about should probably take a back seat.

six months.

my baby boy.  i can not get enough of this kid these days.  he has become the sweetest little love and is doing all kinds of fun new things.  

physical: we had hollis's six month appointment on the 11th.  stats:
height: 26" - 40%
weight: 19lbs. 1oz - 75%
head: 45cm - 75%
so, not quite the giant he has been, which is ok with me as i was really scared he would cross the 20 pound mark this time, and that is such a bittersweet moment for me.  i wasn't quite ready, and he's still growing very well, so yay.  other physical stuff...hardly any spit up anymore.  no detectable heart issues.  on track developmentally.  great report.  

likes: hollis loves scarves.  and balls.  and studying everything intently before shoving it into his mouth.  he loves emme and gazes at her non-stop, watching her every move.  he's quite dexterous with his hands - he will grab a spoon from my hand and make it in to his own mouth most of the time.  his little scoop reflex is getting better every day and i have a feeling it won't be long before he's grabbing bites of food.  he still loves swimming and bath time and diaper changes.  he found his toes a few weeks ago and most mornings we find him rolled over onto his back, feet in the air, toes in his mouth.  

dislikes: i don't think food is really a dislike for him, but it's still so new, so he doesn't just absolutely love it yet.  

biggest achievement of the month: sitting!  well, sitting when we sit him, which according to the montessori philosophy isn't really sitting.  sigh.  but, i think it's a sign of really great core strength that i didn't know he had, and it makes meal times much easier/more fun for him.  add to the achievement list eating some solids and finding his toes and i think it's been a pretty big month.  oh!  and we got both of the kids baptized, but i'll try to find time for a full post on that.  

biggest challenge of the month: he's still not really rolling over except in his bed in the middle of the night.  and i haven't seen him roll back to tummy, but i think he probably can.  the biggest challenge remains nighttime sleep, though it's nothing compared to many of the horror stories i've heard.  

nicknames: hb, hollissey, bittles, babbins, bits, bitsy, smalls, bg, chublet, chubbins, duder, little bear, wiggles...

sleep: i think we're making progress here, if not as quickly as i'd like.  most nights he wakes up once around 4 and goes back down until at least 6 or so, and usually more like 7.  that is do-able for me, but there is still usually a night or two each week where he is up more than that.  the worst is the 10:30/11 wake up because it's sometimes not super quick and it's usually right as i'm heading to bed.  this kid likes to mess with me.  

temperament/personality: so many smiles.  so much giggling.  our boy is getting more and more comfortable just hanging out.  he no longer needs constant distractions and bouncing/holding.  he's come a long way.  he loves loves loves people and gives smiles freely.  

eating: we introduced food on june 30.  i think he had been ready for a few weeks, but i wanted to wait because when does one find the time to feed a baby with all the other stuff there is to do?  yeesh.  anyway, he's had banana, avocado, chicken, egg, strawberries, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, applesauce, peas, and green beans so far.  that's quite a spread i guess, but he's pretty into it.  he likes tasting stuff then letting it stream down his bib/body.  he is interested in spoons and wants to grab stuff with his hands even though he's not quite able to pick up the little bites yet.  i love feeding babies.  

superficial: blonde haired, blue eyed.  chubby.  softest skin in the universe.  still no teeth but i bet any day.  

motor development: this dude motors around his crib non-stop.  he is also ridiculously wiggly in the tub and on the changing table.  when he's just hanging out on the floor, he's mostly in observation mode - he doesn't seem desperate to get super mobile yet.  thankfully.  but he's wicked strong, so when he decides to put all those muscles to use, i think we'll be in trouble.  

pictures will be forthcoming, though i don't know that anyone is even still reading this with the infrequency of my posting...