reading.

i've seen some book posts lately, so thought i should whip one out during my quest to blog more frequently in 2014.

i have been on a kick where i am reading dystopian young adult fiction non-stop.  it is super embarrassing to admit this to the internet, even on a private blog.  i fully intend to read real books again someday, but i'm so engaged by these dorky teenager books.  it's like candy for my brain (and my brain needs candy sometimes).
in january i read pure and fuse by julianna baggott.  the last one (burn, i think?) comes out in early february and i can't wait.  it's about a post-apocalyptic world where some people made it into a dome (hence, they are "pure") and those that didn't have crazy stuff fused to their bodies from the time of the detonations - a doll's head, a fan, other humans or animals.  it's gruesome, kind of, but also really surprising well-written and fascinating.  the thing i love about books (especially books that take place in the future or in an alternate reality or a magical realm) is thinking about how/why the author created the rules for whatever world s/he invented.

i also re-read through the ever night in preparation for into the still blue - the third in this trilogy.  i liked it more the second time through, and i am almost always glad whenever i re-read the prequels right before embarking on the next in a series.  this is especially true because so much of the lore blends together in this genre.  but i have really high hopes for into the still blue.  anything conclusion has got to be better than allegiant, which was a complete fail for me.

i also started the demon's lexicon, but it's not wowing me so far.  i will likely finish it, but the jury's still out on whether i'll read the other two in the trilogy.  it's such a commitment to read a trilogy.  ha.

so that's it.  three books, one of which was a re-read.  i'll do better in february, maybe.

rsv.

last night was ek's first "real" dance class, since last week was just a trial.  i'm still on the fence about committing to something like this with her being only three and me already having a hard enough time feeling spread so thin, etc.  but man she loves it so much.  in last night's class, they sang "bippity boppity boo" while twirling and running around the room, flinging scarves this way and that.  she could not stop jabbering about it last night or this morning.

hollis has rsv and an ear infection.  poor thing.  he's so pitiful - this is the sickest he has ever been by far.  i brought him to the doctor this morning and his breathing is still pretty good, so that is a relief.  he's napping right now and when he wakes up we'll go fill his prescription and hopefully get him to eat something.

some dudes are working on our house right now - we're having a wall removed between our laundry/storage rooms, scraping popcorn off the ceiling in the den, removing paneling and installing drywall, etc.  it's a lot to manage.  the television is in the middle of our dining area, furniture and random stuff is scattered throughout the rest of the house.  i'm super excited to see what it's going to look like, just not entirely thrilled about the process toward that end result.

forgetful.

i forgot hollis's lunch again this morning.  there is no excuse for this, except that justin left for DC at like 5:45 and emme claimed she was carrying hollis's lunch in addition to her own.  but really, there's no excuse for doing this two (school) days in a row.  sigh.

here are some baby selfies hollis took on my lap yesterday.  he was so pleased to see himself on that little screen.  poor boy isn't feeling 100% (snotty snotty, mean cough, etc.) and i'm just praying it's not RSV.

snow day (again).

it's frozen again today, so school and daycare are canceled.  again.  lots of quality time with the kidlets these days.  which is great and also stressful, since work doesn't just disappear.  and also since you can't let kids roll around outside when everything is covered with ice.

hollis has a runny nose and is pretty much beside himself today.  i finally put the humidifier basically directly on his face, rocked him for 30 minutes, and got him to take a little nap.

ek has been mostly cooperative and fun.  we made muffins this morning and she loved that.  we were out of eggs, so i found a recipe for eggless banana muffins and we used coconut oil and added chocolate chips.  they're heavenly, really.  last night, she wore the air bags from a recent amazon.com purchase as a scarf and she and justin pretended to paint each others' faces.

coping skills.

this morning i forgot hollis's lunch and bag o' gear and didn't realize it until i got all the way to their school.  so i dropped them off, drove home, got his stuff, drove back.  as i was heading to the office on track to be an hour late (love our new house - rough times being 3+ miles from school instead of less than one), i got a speeding ticket for going 48 in a 35.  the speed limit just lowered to 35 from 45 and apparently i didn't see the new sign.

so.  i sat in the car after the cop gave me my ticket, crying like a goon.  i drove like 44 miles before 9a.m. today and went absolutely nowhere.  then i began to mentally berate myself because what the hell.  can i not cope with just a little bit of inconvenience without losing it?  apparently not.  i need a personal assistant.

anyway...on a lighter note, we survived snowmageddon round 1 on friday.  the kids' school was closed, so we played inside and hung out.  my parents came in after a 12-hour drive (compared to the usual 6) because of the ice over.  it was back into the 70s saturday and sunday, so we lived it up with lots of backyard and wagon time.  tuesday is supposed to be snowy again.  oh, texas.

first dance class.

we brought ek to a dance class last night as a little trial to see if she'd like it, if she'd go, etc.  i have really battled the whole extra-curricular activity thing because i feel like she's really young and also like we're already spread super thin and how do you fit one more single thing into life?  bleh.

but, she's been dancing around the living room daily and telling us to check out her "ballet".  and there's a dance school like 90 seconds away from our house.  so.

of course, i neglected to snap a picture.  but despite initial reluctance/shyness to go inside, she sucked it up and went.  she did awesome - paid attention, participated, followed instructions.  she looked like she was having a blast and couldn't stop talking about it last night and this morning.  so i think we're going to do it.

park.

i love austin sometimes.  the winter is definitely one of those times.  sunday afternoon, we walked to the park at the elementary school the kids will go to.  have i mentioned it's three blocks from our house?  love that.  emme is always asking us to push her THIS high (insert arm movement.big gesture).  also, to pour her "this lot of milk" or make her the "biggest toast of my life".  she was willing to take a turn pushing daddy and hollis today.  she can be really sweet sometimes (mental note to remember this as i struggle daily with her three-ness).

great slides, happy dogs, happy kids.  yay for sunny and 70 degrees.

so big.

central market for dinner on friday night - hollis got to climb on the playscape and he was really proud of himself.  we kept telling him he was so big, and i managed to snap a quick pic of him responding.

dragon.

ek: "whenever i got bit by a dragon when i was five, i had to run away.  that's one of the things i had to do."

helpless.

hollis is still sick - his fever jumped up to 104.3 last night, which is just terrifying (and also clearly not related to the MMR vaccine).  i brought him in this morning and his white count is normal, he doesn't have the flu, and his ears, throat and lungs are all good.  so, big relief, but i still have a virus-riddled bebe who is sad.  and i still have a job to do (like a work-job, not a mom-job), even though my heart/gut tells me the most important thing is to care for this niblet.  helpless.

i got notes home the last two days in a row about emme scratching/clawing other children and drawing blood during a confrontation.  one was about chalk.  the other was about space for her nap mat on a shelf.  her nails were definitely too long (my fault - again, no excuses but MAN it is so hard to keep up with every.single.thing.).  but, even with short nails, she could have hurt these other kids.  this level of passion/fury/intensity in my sweet girl is hard to know how to channel.  i don't know if i should be worried about it or if it's within the realm of totally normal three year-old behavior.  i want to just know what the solution is, and i don't.  so, here again, i am helpless.

and the obvious answer: ask for help.  which i'm notoriously bad about.  but i suppose it takes a village for a reason, right?  because we can't do this (or at least, not well) on our own....

half day.

hollis still had fever this morning, so he's home with me again.  sweet bug.  i'm working but also using the opportunity to try to make some headway on this house/organization.  i will never feel done, right?

i just found a pile of journals i started and stopped from 1997 or so until like 2006.  am i supposed to keep stuff like that?  reading them makes me dislike my hyper-dramatic past self.

fever/first black eye.

today i got a call mid-morning that hollis had a fever and i needed to go pick him up.  low-grade fever, so i'm pretty sure it's the post-MMR vaccine thing the pediatrician warned us about.  it's been nice hanging at home with him (though i've had to work too) and getting some one on one time.
last night, he pulled his dog guitar off the table (where emme had put it so he couldn't reach it) onto his eye.  poor bug.  also, i don't know how/why his hair is doing this spike thing, but i love it.

one year old.

my sweet sweet baby.  it's now been a whole year since you were even due (!), and a little over a week since your first birthday.  i would apologize for the lack of fanfare surrounding your birthday, but you loved it anyway.  you're so good about going with the flow of whatever is happening, especially if it enables snacks or music.  we are really so blessed to have you as a part of our little family and we adore you.  

physical: at your 12-month appointment, your stats were about the same: 
- height: 29" (25%)
- weight: 23lbs, 12oz (60%)
- head: 48cm (95%)
you still have only five teeth, but i SWEAR a new one (or six new ones) will be out any minute.  your blonde hair is turning into a little bit of a mullet, but i will seriously never cut it because i just love it.  

likes: you're obsessed with music - playing it and dancing to it non-stop.  you love emme and are fascinated with trying to do anything she's doing.  bath time is fun time.  you got a nice pile of toys/work for christmas and your birthday, and you really love all of them - especially your workbench and your dog guitar.  

dislikes: being denied anything you want to do.  sleeping past 5:30 a.m.  

biggest achievement of the month: saying mama is my favorite of the things you've started doing.  you're also pointing non-stop, consistently responding with "so BIG", and waving bye-bye at the appropriate times.   

biggest challenge of the month: transitioning off bottles - we're doing cow's milk for you at school and it's been fine, except you really loved bottle time.  this has also meant a certain degree of weaning for me, and that's just been hard (more from an emotional standpoint than anything else).  we're still nursing morning and night, but i no longer pump, and i try to only offer you milk in a cup at home.  it just breaks my heart that you're this big already.  

nicknames: i can't believe i haven't mentioned: brosef, brochacho, na-bro-leon, anything with bro integrated.  

sleep: well, i think you're pretty consistently sleeping through the night now.  that is, you're down from 6:30/7-5:30 or so.  so, not quite as long (or as late) as i'd like, but we'll take it!  we will work on keeping you up a little later and hope to get you to sleep a little later in the morning, but so far you're having none of it.  you're trying to drop your second nap, but this is a tough transition for you my bug.  

temperament/personality: you are really a laid-back, independent, happy baby.  you escalate and de-escalate quickly.  you're non-stop fun.  

eating: i can't fully express how thankful i am for another good eater.  the other day i made cauliflower and broccoli with lemon zest and i am pretty sure you put down at least a full cup serving.  you're awesome.   

motor development: you're on the path to walking but not there yet.  you're really content at being a fast and dynamic crawler, so we'll see what happens over the course of this month...

happy birthday my darling boy.  please slow time down just a little bit so i can relish this incredible time.  

privatization.

i've decided to make our blog private.  i've been thinking about it for a while, and it seems like the safe/smart choice.  i originally hoped this would be a discussion forum, where i could get advice and suggestions from other parents/people.  but, mostly i post and i see that people read it, but no one comments and it's starting to just make me feel a little weird about it all.  so.

i think i can add people to the list that i can "allow" to read it, if you're so inclined.  so just let me know, either via email or in the comments.

oh, and happy new year!