when this whole transition period started, i was super worried about hollis. he is a less adaptable kid than emme is, in general, and he never really fully got into the groove at his last school, even after over a year there. he was managing it all a bit better the last month or so (there was a particular teacher that he finally got away from, and i think that helped a lot), so i was even more nervous that he would flip out when we uprooted him again.
so not the situation. he cried the first day i dropped him off (understandably), and has not cried a single day since. he can still get a little squirrely here and there, but he is just handling everything so. well. i am super proud of him. he loves his teacher, miss iliana; he loves swimming a couple days a week; he loves riding the bus to "ja-nastics"; he loves the "jumpoline" when he's at gymnastics. the class size is a bit smaller and the classroom offers lots of opportunities for independent play, on which hollis really thrives. i think he *might* even be starting to make some friends. but regardless...all good things.
ek on the other hand...it has been a whirlwind. i don't know why i wasn't really worried about her. i guess because she is so adaptable - she has always handled new situations rather well. she doesn't just dive right in, but she cautiously observes what's happening and then ultimately does her thing in any scenario.
this time has been much harder. obviously, there are many more elements at play, much more responsibility, all of that. but we've had some challenges. the first week, the big thing was the bus between after school and second after school. which i get - the first day didn't exactly engender confidence in the whole schedule. but even beyond that, she was super upset every day. there is a sweet fifth grader named jacob who helps her buckle and holds her hand on the ride, but she would start getting upset even in mr. butler's class just anticipating the ride.
we also discovered that she was in after after school with lots of kids of all different ages, and that might have something to do with her flipping out about the bus. so i asked the coordinators if they could put her into a section with younger kids - maybe the kids who do full-day preK there who are her age? this was a suggestion from hollis's teacher, and it turned out to be the answer! she enjoyed her time in aftercare a lot more, and the bus ride became less menacing because of that.
the second week brought more fun challenges. there's a conduct system in place in her preK class, similar to lots of schools i'm sure. red, yellow, green, then rainbow if you really go above and beyond. well, last tuesday she told us that in spite of ending the day on green, she had been on yellow at one point. yikes! i will leave aside my personal feelings about arbitrary conduct systems, etc - the fact of the matter is you have to figure out how to succeed and thrive in whatever environment you're in. so, we talked about being on yellow, etc. that behaviour was coupled with general mean-ness - she was being mean to hollis, being super mean to cate on the walk to school, being mean to justin and me. she was also being demanding and rude in the evenings. all just stuff that made me feel like "whose kid is living in my house?".
anyway. thursday, a few hours after i arrived in nyc, i got a text from her teacher asking when i would be back in town. never a good sign. so, monday afternoon, i called him. we ended up talking for 25 minutes, wherein he described an incident thursday that led to her finishing the day on yellow (she was disrespectful to another teacher - something that is unacceptable). she was also refusing to help clean up after centers, and generally just upping the ante on any less-desirable behavior she saw from her classmates. sigh.
monday night, we had a nice long talk about respect and he behavior. we role-played the conversation she would have the next morning with the teacher she disrespected and wrote her an apology note. after getting to school, she did go apologize, so i was really proud that she handled that moment. we also started talking about kindness, and how that's a huge thing - being helpful and kind. i feel like i'v'e been talking about and reinforcing this stuff forever, but i clearly needed to amp it up.
so...tuesday she had a much better day, and then wednesday and thursday she made it to rainbow both days! i am super proud. we still have some work to do on carrying that kind and helpful behavior over to home life, but i know she's got a lot to tackle right now, and it's hard to hold it together 100% of the time. so i am working on being patient and extra loving with her while she figures out how to harness her powers for good. yay, parenting!
