when i was a kid, my parents read the little engine that could to me, frequently. i think it was partially because the author is watty piper, and partially because the message is great for a little kid who's trying to learn to do so many new and challenging things. the world is daunting and disappointing, but a positive attitude and a belief that you can do it will combat anything, right? so says watty.
fast forward to my adult life. i do actually still think i can, believe it or not. i am 5'4" (this is the truth, though i add 1-2 inches for posterity) but i think i can reach the stuff on the high shelves. i am klutzy, but i think i can run and exercise and take care of myself in a way that is satisfying, if not on the level of a naturally gifted athlete. i am busy and overcommitted and stressed most of the time, but i think i can be a good friend/wife/daughter/eventual mother/citizen. i think i can have and do and be it all. i really think i can. even if sometimes i flip out and get overrun by fear and negative thoughts, at the heart of it....i think i can. haha.
i guess all this positive energy and can-do attitude has permeated my behaviour in some way. so much so that at some untraceable point over the course of our marriage, jb has started calling me little engine, sort of as a pet name. he calls me this when i try to lift 80-lb bags of concrete on my own even though he's standing right there, and when i ask him to reach something for me as i'm crawling onto a counter to reach it myself anyway. he calls me that when i stretch myself too thin and overcommit and refuse to drop anything or let anyone down.
it's my favorite nickname ever.
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