on raising a daughter, part 1.

i'm feeling all writerly today, so i apologize for the increase in words - particularly serious ones.  i came across this article this morning and it got me thinking. 

for those that don't feel like chasing links around the internet, the article talks about how people respond when they meet little girls.  they instantly go to value judgments about how precious/clean/well-dressed/beautiful said girl is.  and i do the same thing, which sort of boggles my mind.  these girls ARE all of those things, of course, but that is not all they are.  and the immediate observation of it seems to be doing a disservice to generations of girls who now value beauty over substance (the statistics in the article are terrifying).  this is something i've struggled with in my own life (and still do) - at times choosing to underplay whatever physical attributes i have in favor of being taken more seriously as an intellectual.  both extremes are a lose/lose for women and girls in so many ways.  i can recount about a zillion stories around this issue - it's not some revolutionary topic - but what i loved about this article was the proposed solution.  ask the little girl about her hobbies, her ideas.  what she likes and why.  offer to do an activity with her - read, color, dig in the dirt.  i hope i can keep this focus on substance at the forefront of her development, even though i will continue to dress her in adorable outfits and make sure she's clean (most of the time...).  but i worry about all the outside influencers.  when you start tallying up the number of hours your little monkey is outside of your realm versus inside, it gets depressing.  how do you combat reality television and skintight clothing and mascara commercials?  how do you ensure that your daughter(s) place a greater emphasis on their heads and hearts but also make sure they know it's still ok to take pride in/be comfortable with the way they look?  how do they become people that grow more beautiful as you get to know them because of all the exuberance and personality they possess?  

the bottom line is that i DO think my daughter is beautiful.  but the things i love the most about her are her curiosity and her stubbornness, her precociousness and her big heart - and that's just the beginning.  i am sure the list of traits i love will expound into eternity....i just want to make sure i remember to tell her about all of those things instead of just talking about her eyelashes and her complexion....