it's been a while. the past several weeks have been a tumult, and, as i am wont to do, i am undertaking about a zillion life changes all at one time. whee. i am going to try to avoid the cliches of "it's not personal, it's business" and "nothing is certain but change" and "this too shall pass". ha.
i quit my job last week. tomorrow is my last day at the company i've worked for the past almost six years. i start a new job on monday. i turn 30 on tuesday. 30! it's really not a big deal, i hear. we moved last weekend. slash we are still moving now. the hesterly family (and friend) brigade will be here tomorrow to help with the settling, which means we will collectively breathe a sigh of relief. but in all, a lot is happening, with more always on the horizon (paint colors, pergolas, projects).
i am a person who does relatively well with change. i don't fear change or avoid it at all costs the way some people do. but it's still a stressor. i'd put this year/18 month time period on par with the 2006/2007 period in terms of the crazy. that was the year i ran a marathon, bought a house, got engaged, started graduate school, and got married within 12 calendar months. i'm tired again just thinking about it. so now this will be the year i got pregnant, finished graduate school, had a baby, bought a new house, and changed jobs. even when you do well with change, this bombardment can be a bit overwhelming.
anyway. i am really happy and excited about the new house and the new opportunity at a new company. i believe both are absolutely the best decisions for me and for our family in the long-term. but i still have that small square in my heart that is grieving the losses that these changes represent (even though the over-arching experience is a net-gain).
this job, the one i'm leaving. i kind of fought for this job, and i won and i made it what i wanted it to be (or was working on that, i guess). that makes it feel so much more personal to me. like i made my own little nest in a big corporate animal den. and now i'm abandoning it. it took me a little while, but i have a small group of people i care a whole lot about that i will miss. and as much as you say you're going to keep in touch, do lunch, reach out, come back some day...the reality is that people get busy and move on and it's harder and harder to do that. i also feel like i am abandoning some projects and people, even though it really IS just business, and the show will go on. i am not indispensable, clearly. no one is.
so this is it. there will be cake and a few hugs and a few nice words from a few folks. and these are all really excellent. and monday i will venture out into the unknown. i will work on a windows machine - gasp! i will, slowly but surely, i imagine, make new friends and find new things to work on and get excited about. i will be annoyed by internal systems and corporate red tape but excited to have this opportunity and to be in the place that i am. just like i have been. it will be weird and it will take a while, but i will turn the new job (and the new house) into a home....
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