weekend review.

i love holiday weekends.  this one was particularly busy and fun because the kids were off school on friday, my parents and brother came into town, and we had wedding festivities for our friends michael and kalli all weekend.

friday i stayed home with the kids and brought them to the splash pad (or just "the splash" as ek calls it) with some friends from school.  super fun.  we got home right after noon and my fam arrived at the same time we did, so that was super fun.  jb got home from work and he and i got ready and headed down to town lake for a bat cruise/rehearsal dinner.  super fun.  austin is pretty.

saturday, jb did some wedding stuff in the morning while i hung out with the kids and my family.  when they went down for naps, mom, joe and i got out for a bit so i could get a mani/pedi (this NEVER happens) and they could do a little shopping.  then jb and i headed out for a cocktail party and night at a hotel.  we pretended like we were 24 again and had a hotel room for the night.  if i were smart, i would have just gone to bed at like 8 and gotten 14 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  apparently, i'm not that smart.  but, we had a blast.

sunday we got home and i took ek to disney on ice with alison and cameron.  she was a little freaked out about it - it was loud and dark and occurred during nap time - but she hung in there for the whole show and was wide-eyed when telling the rest of the family about it when we got home.

the wedding was sunday evening at a restaurant called green pastures and it was very nice.  great band, good food, lovely venue.

thankfully, monday was stormy, so after my family headed out, we built a fort in the middle of the living room and were lazy all day.  it is extremely rare that i have a day with zero productivity, but monday was one of those days and i loved every minute of it.  ek was a little cranky, as she was still sleep-deprived from her fun weekend, but she held it together as well as she could.

i want four-day weekends every week.

lists.

i have a lot of lists.  on paper, yes, but mostly in my brain.  lists of projects i want to start or complete, ideas for short stories i never write, stuff i need to pick up at the grocery store, recipes to invent, stuff i want to do before i die, songs that i should download and put on a hypothetical running mix, restaurants i'd like to try, books i want to read.  the list goes on - a list of lists.

i've been in a pretty good place mentally lately, i think.  it's hard for me to admit when i'm not in a good mental place, even though i'm also pretty sure it's obvious when that is the case.  i have a hard time with self-care of all kinds.  but.  i've been exercising semi-consistently (at least 3 times a week) for several weeks now.  it has helped tremendously with my B factor.  as in, i'm way less of a B.  i think.  or, i feel like less of a B.  anyway.  this is the first time in my life i'm completely willing to admit that there is something behind this alleged science of workouts/energy/positivity/etc.  so i guess this means i have to keep it up.

the other thing that's been helping tremendously is that i've been reading peaceful parents, happy kids by dr. laura markham.  and also her website, aha parenting.  i mean, whoa.  i haven't become some exceptional parent overnight.  but her writing and advice is so actionable and logical to me.  my yelling has diminished precipitously over the last several weeks, which is creating this amazing feedback loop where the kids aren't as buck-wild and i don't beat myself up all the time and then get more strung out because i'm such a terrible mom and then rinse, repeat.  it's really changed my life ALREADY...and we're only a couple weeks in.  AND i only got jb to finally read, like, one article a few days ago.  and that has made another huge difference.  emme is like a different child, blossoming in this glow of acceptance and play and empathy.  it's remarkable.

so now if we can only figure out how to get hollis to sleep past 4am...

princess.

this morning i had to take all the animals to the vet for check-ups and because pippa the cat is having a bladder issue.  we don't have a pet carrier for her anymore, so i brought her in a picnic basket, which the kids thought was hilarious.

anyway...after dropping them off, ek was asking lots of questions about vets and why the pets were there and what the vet would do to them, etc.  i told her that it was a neat job and maybe she could be a vet when she grows up if she wants to.

ek: i don't want to be a vet when i grow up.
me: oh no?  well what do you want to be?
ek: a princess.
me: (trying not to be too judgey because she is 3, after all) oh...well what do you do if you're a princess?
ek: twirl.

touche, kid.  touche.

moments later she told me she really wants to be a dog when she grows up so she can run around at the park with no parents.

almost the weekend.

starting on tuesday afternoon, i felt like it was almost the weekend, so this was a pretty long week.  not bad (at all - actually quite good in many ways!), just slow.  i wish the weekends and evenings and holidays felt as slow as my work days do.

anyway...random things:

we lose hollis a lot.  not really, but there are many times where we realize we haven't heard from him in several minutes.  independent second child, bless his heart.  almost always, we discover him holed up in his room reading books.  i won't pretend this doesn't make me intensely happy, especially since i don't feel like he's gotten the quality reading time his big sister got from me.

the weather here has been unbelievable this spring.  it's normally into the 90s and even 100s by this point in may, but i wore a FLEECE to drop of the kids yesterday morning.  because it was 47.  in may.  in texas.  i snapped a pic of this on wednesday because it was so pristine and then it was even crisper on thursday.  i know it won't last much longer but ooooh i will enjoy it while it lasts.

last night i perfected my roasting of spaghetti squash.  i learned a couple of secrets that made a huge difference that i will share in case anyone else loves spaghetti squash like i do:

• just chop off the ends before you cut it in half lengthwise.  don't ask me why i haven't thought of this before, but it made a HUGE difference in me not nearly chopping my fingers off.  
• scoop out the seeds then rub a little olive oil and salt and pepper on the flesh of the squash.
• put the flesh side DOWN in the roasting pan - i've done this both ways and the flesh down makes for less watery squash.  
• roast for longer than you think you might need to - i have always done like 40 minutes for medium sized ones, but you really need more like 50 minutes.  and on 400, not 375.  this makes the squash more tender and way way way more delicious.  
• have your kidlet help you scoop out the flesh with a fork (after it's cooled down a bit).  this will make them want to taste it and then they will like it and actually eat their WHOLE plate of spaghetti squash with shrimp and spinach.  

recipe for our yummy dinner last night:

• roast spaghetti squash; separate the meat from the skin
• in a large saute pan, saute shrimp in a little olive or coconut oil
• add salt, pepper, garlic granules, and dill to taste
• throw in handfuls of baby spinach and stir around until it gets all wilty.  don't be scared to put lots of spinach and add more seasoning if you need to
• dump all your spaghetti squash in there to combine and mingle flavors
• add a pat of butter and more dill (if you want, because let's be honest, more dill is always a good idea)
• serve with a little salad or crusty bread or just by itself - top with a little shredded parmesan or goat cheese for extra deliciousness

thank you elsa.

for helping my child to love braids so now i can braid her wispy feather hair and keep it (mostly) out of her face.

jb loves pinterest.

i didn't write about all the stuff we actually did on mother's day.  it was a good day.  we're in the process of re-doing our back porch - painting, cleaning, new screens, new doors.  we're doing most of it ourselves, but we have a guy that's going to put the actual screens on for us, since that part is wily and requires a level of expertise we don't possess (and/or a learning curve we're not willing to put up with).  but, pretty much everything else we're doing.  screen dude said he was going to come to our house tuesday, so we basically had the weekend to wrangle the whole project.

let me just offer an aside about how amazing it is that productivity begets productivity.  in general, we collapse on the couch at 830 or 9 at night after doing just the things that have to be done - lunches packed, dishwasher loaded, diapers stuffed.  but when we manage to start accomplishing things...it's like it gets addictive and we do more and more.  i love that.  it reminds me of what life was like before we were waking up throughout the night with small humans.  ha.

anyway...the point of this post was mother's day stuff.  jb made a fantastic brunch for me - eggs benedict, bacon, hashbrowns, and oj.  he's a really good cook.  but, since the adult brunch took some time to prepare, he whipped up a little platter of snacks for the kiddos so they wouldn't turn into gremlins, which they are wont to do when hungry.  clearly someone has been sneaking around on pinterest when i'm not looking...

mother's day 2014.

my first mother's day as a mother was the day after emme turned 6 months old, and the first day she ever sat up independently.  it's crazy to think about all that has happened in just these few short years of mothering.

being a mom has been the best, hardest, most rewarding, most nerve-wracking, most intense, most joyful, most exhausting thing i've ever done.  i love it, even though i feel super inadequate most of the time.  it's a struggle sometimes to give myself the space and patience to grow and evolve as a person and as a mother.  i'm working on allowing myself to be on the journey.  i feel so honored that i get to do this, in spite of my shortcomings.

we didn't take any pictures of me and the kids this weekend, but here are the most recent pics i snapped of kidlets with my phone.  hollis has a plastic cake dome on his head from a birthday celebration friday.  and ek has intense bedhead with her hot cocoa.  i love these littles.

asparagus.

last night i steam asparagus for dinner.  it's not as good as roasted asparagus, especially when it's over-steamed and kind of stringy.  but, you put enough butter on anything and it's a-ok.

emme: "mommy, are you eating that spruce goose?"

3.5.

this girl turned three-and-a-half yesterday.  i love half birthdays, but i love ek even more.  i'm so lucky to be her mom.

little bro at 16 months.

hollis turned 16 months old sunday!  and my first thought was "this is how old i was when my parents had my brother".  and my second thought was "they were crazy people".  not really, but that is a close age gap.

anyway.  my baby is not a baby anymore.  i mean, he is and he isn't and it's amazing and devastating and all the other emotions.  just like most things with this little parenthood journey.

people always say things like "i couldn't imagine our lives without him", and even though it's super trite, i agree times a million.  hollis is such a part of our family and we adore him.

i will get the rough stuff out of the way first.  this kid.  does not.  sleep.  that's not entirely true, as i've had many friends/acquaintances who've had kids who really REALLY don't sleep.  but man.  i don't think we've had a full night of solid sleep ever in this dude's life.  it was better for a little while, but he's back to waking up at 4:30 or earlier now.  every night.  last week there were many nights with a visit at 1:30 or earlier.  last night he was up pretty much hourly.  i think he's cutting molars maybe?  but i also think i've been making one excuse or another for him in this department since he was born, and the reality is just...he's not a great sleeper.  yet.  his naps have really come around and now he is pretty solid the vast majority of days, so it gives me hope!  but if anyone has any magical tips/tricks on how to get a super busy toddler to settle down and sleep 12 hours, i would be your best best friend.  i hate crying it out (though i've tried), and i'm not really ready to wean him yet (nor is he), but i don't know what else to do...he is waking up ek and then she's in our bed too and really...sleep is important, man.

the other thing is that hollis has a short fuse.  he has quite a little temper and is stubborn and strong-willed (i know this is shocking to hear, since no one else in our family fits this description...ha).  he's also not super verbal yet, so he gets WAY frustrated and he will tell you about it.  by being in a rage.  it's almost funny, but it's also frustrating for us as we're trying to wrangle him and his demanding big sister and all.the.things.  of course.  it doesn't help that he is LOUD.  like, the loudest baby of all time ever.  and when he's mad he's just so so so mad.

but. the rest of the time, hollis is the most hilarious, charming, darling boy.  he will toddle to wherever you are and insist that you read a book to him right then.  his laugh is infectious and profuse and the most joyous sound in our household.  his animal sounds (horse, cat and dog are the only consistent ones right now) are so funny - he doesn't do the n in neigh, so it kind of sounds like he's giggling, and his cat is just MAO.  he has seven teeth in the front and i think a couple of molars are trying to join the party on the right side, but he rarely lets me stick my fingers in there.  he loves to brush his teeth, loves to take baths, and adores his sister beyond belief.  he's become a much pickier eater than i anticipated.  he will always eat bread or cheerios or berries, but everything else is hit or miss.  he's surprisingly gentle (for a boy, especially, from what i've heard) - he is super sweet to the dogs and gives amazing cuddles.  he is immediately happy if he's outside or has access to water that he can splash everywhere.  he loves music and frequently starts the day (way too early) by banging on his dad's djembe.

hollis isn't a big talker yet, but he's got some words: mama, dada, sister (kind of), bird (heavy emphasis on the d like bir-dah - so cute), ball, dog, turtle, bye bye, hi, more, bath, water, and all done are all there (i can understand them, at least).  he signs more, all done, so big, and a few animals.  he's pretty good at following directions and very clearly understands what we're saying (even if sometimes he chooses not to comply).  it's weird after having SUCH a verbal first child...but i'm doing my best not to compare.

my friend alison cut his mullet off a few weeks ago and he looks like such a little dude now.  he walks like an old man - legs bowed, belly out.  it's the best.  his eyes are phenomenally blue.  he's not very chubby anymore, but his feet are still little empanadas and he's pretty delicious, if not overly rolly.  he's super independent already, which is a dream come true and a clear sign that he's the second child.  i'm pretty sure he can play by himself for longer than his sister can already (not to compare but...).

anyway.  my little dude.  i love this child overwhelmingly much, even with my sleep deprivation and his occasional cranky 'tude.  now let's please slow it down a little bit on the whole time-passing thing.

festival fans.

this past weekend we loaded up the kids and the double bob and headed to lafayette for festival international.  i really love this festival - we've missed a few years, but when we can swing it, it's an awesome weekend.  live music, street food, people watching.  super fun.

anyway.  the kids had an absolute blast.  ek called it the fall vegetable and she fully embraced the experience.  friday morning we celebrated easter with my parents, which included a super cute nest cake my dad ordered from a local bakery.  then we headed to the fest for the bach lunch.  that was where ek discovered the splash pad and it became her focus for the rest of the weekend.  after lunch/splashing, we went home for kidlets to nap and then headed back to the festival for the evening.  we saw a good band and ate some more and then my parents took the kidlets home so jb and i could play for a bit.  we caught the last part of a band and the first part of a russian gypsy band (jb was way more excited about that one than i was) and then headed to have a drink and visit before calling it a night.  we got home slightly after 11 and just barely missed seeing emme - apparently grandparents don't believe in bedtimes...super fun.

saturday, we went to my grandmother (gg)'s house for burgers and some playing at the neighbors'.  my gram's neighbors have this toy escalade that is motorized.  when emme discovered she could control the car with the gas pedal, it was ON.  she floored that thing and the kids were cackling.  so fun.
after that we headed back to the fest for face painting, snacks, music, and more splash pad.  it was a pretty exhausting but fun day and we all headed home for etouffe and watching frozen.

sunday was time to leave with our tired kidlets.  they were both sound asleep within minutes of getting in the car and took almost 4 hour naps, so they missed the random GIANT fireman's hat rolling down the highway.

please note that emme got that dress from my parents for easter and wore it every day, forcing my mom to wash it each night.

siblings.

there is a lot of chaos at our house these days, and i'm a person that is easily overwhelmed.  control issues, what?  i am working on lightening up and living in the moment and embracing the magic that is happening all the time instead of just looking at where i'm falling short of the mark and flipping out about stupid stuff like dog hair all over the floors and how that load of laundry STILL hasn't been folded.  baby steps.

anyway...one thing that is amazing and pure awesome is the sibling relationship that ek and hollis are developing.  i have to give her credit in that, for the most part, she hasn't been super jealous with "sharing" her parents.  obviously, we have moments of poor choices like grabbing toys out of his hands, being too rough with his body, etc, but i think she is really a great, nurturing big sis and i love that.  i also love that as hollis gets older and more mobile and more talky, they are really playing with each other now.  the other day, i had their nap mats home to wash on the weekend.  ek grabbed hollis's nap mat and he laid down on it and she was dragging him around for a ride on it, then they would lay on it together and just giggle.  it was really sweet.  at whatever point (i really wish i'd gotten a pic of this), she put the nap mat over their heads like a harry potter invisibility cloak and they walked around bumping into things and just cackling with each other under there.  i hope i can help foster this sibling bond for the rest of their lives because i love it.

we continue to have sleep issues at the browne house these days.  em is up most nights and comes into our bed stealth-mode and snuggles up until morning.  i am not a co-sleeper (i think it's a fine idea, but i'm a terrible sleeper and babies in the bed make me even worse), but i'm also operating on lots of sleep deprivation, so mostly i've just let her sleep with me.  but...this has been going on for about a month, so it's time to start establishing new habits....a friend at work suggested i bribe her with candy - like, if you stay in your bed all night, i'll give you this special treat.  i have problems with that on a couple of levels: 1) if she needs that closeness/emotional connection because she's not getting it during the day, i want her to feel like we're accessible for it; and 2) i am kind of against bribing with food (even though i've definitely done it on many occasions) as i think it creates a bad dynamic of reward = food mental thing that i have battled my whole life.  so.  the other night i was desperate, so i offered to let her watch tv in the morning before school if she stayed in her bed all night (we have never watched tv during the week in our house).  this is how the conversation went:
me: if you wake up in your own bed in the morning, we can watch tv before school!
ek: but why?
me: well, it would be like a special treat!
ek: but mommy, sleeping in your bed is a special treat.
me: oh, sweetie - you can sleep in our bed!  this will be like a choice - which special treat do you want?

so that night she actually did make it the whole night in her bed.  that hasn't happened every night since, but some nights it works, and i suppose it's not the worst thing to let your kids have like 10-15 minutes of sesame street in the morning...right?

outside.

we've been spending as much time as possible outside lately - walks, happy hour/dinner outside on fridays, park time, etc.  first, both kids are just in a much better place when we're outside and they have fresh air and space to move their bodies around.  second, i am trying to get walks/runs in where possible so i can sort of pretend to get into some semblance of shape.  third, walks in our 'hood help assuage my guilt over being a bad dog mom.  fourth, it's really really really beautiful this time of year - stuff blooming everywhere, perfect weather, etc.  

the kids' school did a caterpillar/butterfly metamorphosis lesson in each classroom.  they ordered caterpillars and watched them eat leaves and make their chrysalises and then emerge as butterflies to be released on the playground.  it was really cool to hear ek talk about it, and even the youngest kidlets (hollis's class) were fired up about watching the butterflies.  h's teacher sent a couple of pics of him on "release day".  we also found a butterfly weed in a neighbor's yard on our usual walking path that had about 16 big ol' caterpillars crawling on it.  ek was excited to count them all and i hope to take them for a walk again today so we can check on their transition into chrysalis.  

easter 2014.

we didn't really take many pictures this year, which is pathetic.  and the ones that we do have are all from my phone, which is even more pathetic.  also, hollis crawled down our concrete steps on our porch on his face the day before easter, but despite all of that, easter was pretty good.  i got the kids pretty mellow baskets this year - swimsuits, bubbles, some candy, a book each, a ball for hollis, pens for ek.  we hid their eggs around the house for easter morning so they could find them and nosh on the treats stashed inside.  they were pretty excited about the baskets.

jb made breakfast for us and i attempted thumbprint nest cookies with cadbury mini eggs to bring to the easter party at our friends' house.  they weren't an entire disaster except that i unintentionally doubled the butter so had to double the whole recipe, and then i massively underestimated the amount of time homemade cookies take, so there was lots of scrambling to get out the door.  that is a feeling that should not exist on easter sunday.  it's also a feeling that is responsible for the fact that when we got to the party we had: no camera; no shoes for hollis; and no baskets for the kids to collect eggs during the hunt.  super parents!

anyway.  our friends have this gorgeous house on like two acres and tons of families were there, so kidlets were everywhere and there was lots of food and egg-related games.  super cute.  i wish i had not been so flustered and so ridiculous about my contribution to the potluck.  i have a lot to work on at a personal level.  haha.

after the party, the kids crashed hard in the car and magically transferred to their beds without too much fanfare as well.  ek got up about an hour into her nap and wanted to move into our bed, which i said was fine.  of course, she wet the bed (on my side, no mattress pad like we have in her bed) for the first time in probably six months.  so, the afternoon involved laundry and a nice walk around the neighborhood.  we are really loving the spring weather and our proximity to parks.

bluebonnets.

a couple of weeks ago, we attempted bluebonnet pics with the kids.  in years past we have scored some great pics of the pups, and the bluebonnet pics from when ek was 16/17 months old are probably my favorite pictures of her ever.

so my thought was this year, with both kids being able to sit independently, etc., we would get the best bluebonnet series yet.  aaaannnndddd…i was wrong.  of course.

our first try was saturday morning.  it was overcast and pretty chilly and the kids were hungry (why do i always think it's a good idea to take pics of hungry children?  is that better than children with stained clothing?).  emme was off running through the fields doing her own thing and basically giving us dirty looks any time we attempted anything structured.  hollis was having none of the morning session.

that afternoon, i had a sewing class so justin took them back after nap and tried again with no mommy-distraction.  he also brought blueberries for bribery.  smart.  those turned out much better than the morning ones, but still no money shot.  oh well - next year, right?  in any case, i really love most of these a lot more than i thought i would.  my kids are super expressive, even when those expressions are ornery, and it's pretty hilarious to see it captured.  and, even though there isn't a single "perfect" shot, i am still posting WAY too many pics…and this is condensed way down from my initial culling of ~50 photos from the 462.