some days everything feels much harder than it needs to be. or than it actually is, probably. these days frequently coincide with a lack of quality sleep the night before.
today i invited mandy and ben over for dinner and completely forgot that it's wednesday, which means it's dance night for ek. i also forgot to order her tap shoes, so she will be without tap shoes for the tap portion again this week. we will figure this out (justin will take her to class and i already placed the order on amazon prime, so we'll be good to go next week), but it's just...more difficult than necessary.
this morning i was putting on my moisturizer and i accidentally globbed it all over the lid, then dropped the globbed lid onto my pajama pants and then into the hamper.
also this morning, hollis was a cranky pants. he woke up at 4:30ish (only a small part of my lack of quality sleep) and never really settled back down. he typically wakes early but will crash back out snuggled in our bed until we wake him some time around 7 or 7:30. that didn't happen this morning so he was just squawking at me all morning about every single thing. he's a really really loud squawker. finally, as we were heading out the door and i was trying to get everyone's lunches and clothes and my computer and the car started so it would be warm and turn off lights and zip ek's hoodie and and and....it was too much. so i shouted. something along the lines of "HOLLIS. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE, BE QUIET". he got quiet. and now, nearly five hours later, i'm still feeling guilty about that.
i've been reading all these mom articles lately - SAHMs vs WMs vs living in the moment etc etc etc. i read one last night about how my wishing-it-would-move-faster moments are someone else's wish-i-could-get-those-back moments. i disagree. i don't really wish anything with my kids moved faster...i wish everything else in the world (the demands, the jobs, the dirty floors) moved more SLOWLY so i could just be. with the kids. with my self. with my life.
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