32 weeks.

week: 32

baby stats: i seriously forgot at some point this week which week we were on.  i thought i lost a week somewhere, but thankfully it really is only 32.  whew.  anyway, this week, smalls is the size of a honeydew or a jicama or a squash.  the estimate from the internets is around 16.7 inches and somewhere around 3.75 lbs.  this little thumper has toenails and fingernails and hair and is gaining fat and all that other new baby goodness. 

aversions/cravings: cookies.  pancakes with syrup.  chips.  pasta with cream sauce.  sourdough bread.  cereal.  toast with butter.  decaf vanilla lattes.  hot cocoa.  rice in or on or with anything.  do i sound like a complainer yet? 

bump: i have an appointment on wednesday, so i am interested to see what's happening in this department.  i am theoretically supposed to be gaining a half pound of baby every week at this point, but i don't feel the intense growth-spurt belly that i felt with emme - at least, not yet.  i'm sure it will come.  

worries: not terrible this week.  i saw a chiropractor last week and will go again tomorrow (and weekly, probably, until the end).  getting my pelvis adjusted felt amazing, and had the added bonus of making bebe extra wiggly for a couple of days, so that was fun.  i've been doing inversions in the evening and my blood sugar has been in control, so both of those things help me think i'm being proactively helpful to this kiddo.  i went to a class for the diabetes last week, so that was also good in terms of getting on point with math for my meals, which i always love.  i am trying not to be super whiny about the gestational diabetes, but it really is much harder/more mentally trying for me than i expected.  lots of self-pitying - ha!  it doesn't help that justin's suggestion for every meal is tex mex, and that he drinks chocolate milk in front of me.  punk. 

boy or girl?: no clue right now.  i'm going to stick with boy, but i have no clue. 

missing the most: i think my lame cravings section does a good job of summarizing this...

pregnancy milestone: tomorrow night is my sprinkle (or sprinkly, as i like to call it).  my girlfriends throw a "light" shower for second babies.  though i'm not 100% wild about this idea (it's really hard for me to accept nice things being done for me), i think it will be really fun.  i wanted it to be as un-baby-shower-like as possible, so we're going to a fun bar/cafe at 8pm and i'm very excited to spend some time chatting with my ladies. 

31 weeks.

week: 31

baby stats: this week, small smalls is the size of a pineapple or four navel oranges (random).  so, over 16 inches and somewhere around 3.3-3.5 lbs.  baby's irises now react to light, and all five senses are in working order.  s/he is also turning its head as its brain continues to grow.  

aversions/cravings: i eat eggs.  and salads.  

bump: based on my appointment friday, i am measuring about half a week big right now.  but, give or take a few centimeters of fundal height is perfectly normal, says my midwife (and the internet).  i found the belly cast justin and i did of my emme belly at around 36 weeks or so, and it is insane.  this belly is shaped differently and smaller (thankfully) at this point.  we'll see where we end up!  

worries: going to see my practitioners always makes me feel approximately eleventy billion times better.  i cannot even begin to describe how much i love my doc and my midwife.  i don't think i knew a medical experience could be this awesome.  anyway...at friday's appointment, we talked about my gestational diabetes and i got some good guidance.  i'm still bummed/annoyed/worried, but they think i'm doing great and taking good care of myself.  i need to be walking more, so i am going to step that up.  baby is still breech, so i have an appointment with a chiropractor tomorrow to see if we can align my hips in a way that will make this baby happy.  ha.  there's still definitely a chance s/he will flip on its own, but i want to be proactive and do what i can to get this little one head down if at all possible.  if chiropractics don't work, i'll be scheduled for a version around 35 weeks, so that should be interesting....just hoping we get an independent flipper.  other than that, heartbeat, size, etc. all look great and that makes me much calmer in my head.  

boy or girl?: i'm less certain these days.  i am still saying boy because of the breech thing and how uncomfortable i am getting, but who knows, really?  other than my ob, of course.  ha.  

missing the most: chocolate things.  all of the chocolate things.  

pregnancy milestone: tomorrow is the "two months left" mark, at least until my due date.  that is crazy.  when i say "mid-january", it still sounds SO far away, but really it's ridiculously close.  this week, in preparation for family visitors, we got the nursery mostly in order, so i am feeling a little better about that.  still several things to do/inventory, but moving right along and i no longer feel like i have no idea where this kid is going to live.  ha.  

2 years old.

yesterday, emme turned 2.  i know everyone says this, but of course i really can't believe it.  i am baffled every day by how sweet and wonderful this child is.  she is truly a joy. 

with the time change, she has been waking up earlier, so we first heard her peeping around 6:15.  we listened to her on the monitor for a little bit, mostly because hearing the random stuff she says to her animals is hilarious.  we headed into her bedroom telling her happy birthday.  justin asked how old she was, and she gave the standard reply she's been giving for a while now "i'm almost two!".  so we had to explain to her that she is actually two now. 

anyway...she was really excited that it was her birthday.  we had made mini whole wheat zucchini muffins the night before to share with her class (even though she had to go to bed before they were done baking), and she kept talking about how she was going to bring muffins for her buddies.  what a sweet kid.  we had her two year doctor's appointment at 8:15, so justin and i had planned to take her out to breakfast.  on the way, she got to talk to jj and kk on the phone and they sang happy birthday to her, which she loved. 

we had breakfast at cafe java by our house and ek devoured her eggs, bacon, and pancake.  that kid loves a pancake.  then we headed to the doc.  they were late taking us (and we were a couple minutes late getting there), but she was such a helpful kid while we were there! 

height: 34 inches (50%)
weight: 25 lbs. 14 oz (30%)

she was proud to show the nurse and doctor her "big girl panties" with the cupcake on them for her birthday.  the doc was also really impressed by what a talker she is - haha.  i told her it's a blessing and a curse, although i admit i absolutely LOVE hearing stuff like that about my kiddo.  i also loved that there were no shots at this appointment - only the flu mist, which she didn't mind at all. 

after the doctor, we dropped dad off at home so he could head to work, and i brought ek to school with her muffins.  i got to work from home yesterday (favorite part of my job), and picked her up a little early so we could have a little bit of extra time with her.  justin got off early too and we met at trudy's for an outdoor dinner.  when i asked her whether she wanted a taco or a quesadilla for dinner, she looked at me for a minute and then said, "hmmm, maybe a muffin?". 

dinner was fun and low key.  we headed home where she got to open her presents from us.  she had a card from lolo and g-dad, jj and kk, and from grandpa browne and she liked having us read them all out loud to her.  her big present from us was the quilt i made for her room, but since we gave it to her a couple weeks ago during the cold snap, we had a few other little items as well.  she opened some cutting utensils and her own cutting board so she can help me while cooking, and some popsicle molds.  i had also sewn a diaper out of some extra fabric for her baby doll.  that was the big hit - i don't think she really understood what the other stuff was for, but i think she'll be excited when we chop zucchini tonight!  anyway...she was mostly just fired up to open things. 

the final hurrah for the evening was the singing.  we lit a candle and jb and i serenaded her with happy birthday and let her pick out a piece of halloween candy to eat.  i think that was her favorite part of the day.  we did a quick bath and put on pajamas, then read a few books before time for lights out.  all in all, not the most eventful day, but a good one nonetheless.  it's really nice having a kid who gets excited and enthusiastic about everything. 

i will write a sentimental post about everything happening with her soon - probably after her real birthday party on saturday.  i will also take and subsequently post a two year photo shoot (instead of the 2 iphone photos i took yesterday).  but for now, i wanted to record the big day before too much time passed.  we really love this little monkey. 

election day.

at some point tuesday morning, it occurred to me that in 4 more presidential terms (interestingly, the number of presidential elections i have participated in), emme kay will be voting.  i had to look it up, and her 18th birthday, november 7, 2028, will be a tuesday and an election year.  pretty exciting.

justin and i got up early and took emme to the polls to cast our votes.  i try not to get political on the internet, but i follow the issues very closely and have watched this election season with alternating fascination and disgust, and i feel like this is an historical occasion that warrants a blog post.  i'm not that old, but i don't remember a time when everything was so divisive. 

i hold deep convictions about certain issues.  education.  liberty.  protection for those that can't protect themselves.  the environment.  there are others, but i think those are the biggest four.  i believe that economic prosperity stems from a place where these issues are prioritized.   when i look at an election, at our political process, i try to think beyond what my own life and my own current reality are.  i try to think about the future of my children - what kind of world i want them to grow up in.  what kind of people i want them to meet and know.  i try to vote with my heart and with my head.  it is not always easy to do.  i cannot reduce everything i believe into one paradigm or the other - i don't even believe there are only two paradigms to fit within...i can only prioritize those topics that are most relevant and worrisome to me. 

even harder than the actual casting of my vote is dealing with the other humans in the world and their discussions about all this voting, this political-ness.  every member of my extended family, with the exception of maybe one, tends in a different political direction than i do.  every one that i work with leans a different way than i as well.  it's odd, but it makes me feel persecuted in some bizarre way.  it also makes me feel like i have to be quiet and reserved about what i hold to be true and dear, lest family and co-workers think "differently" of me. 

that is not a comfortable position, and it's not one that i relish.  i think of myself as a convicted person who is willing and eager to stand up for what i believe in.  but, in this time of facebook and sound bites, standing up for yourself is a quick and easy way to lose friends and alienate people.  too often, if you even begin a politically-charged sentiment, people assume they understand everything about what you think and why you think it.  i prefer to believe that we are all much, much more complex than that, so i try to stay out of it (publicly). i try to give people who write blanket (and false) statements like "obama is a muslim" the benefit of the doubt. 

obama was never my candidate.  i didn't love him in 2008 and i don't love him today.  do i believe he is the best candidate available right now?  yes.  is the foundation of that belief incredibly complicated and impossible to reduce down to a single issue?  absolutely.  i worry about the environment - will the air we breathe and the water we drink be clean for my children and their children?  i worry about opportunity - will my daughter(s) have access to the same jobs as men at the same pay?  will they be allowed autonomy over their own bodies - free to make the choices that our family morals and values guide them to make, not confined to some edict issued by the government?  i worry about the people we interact with daily - will they be educated?  healthy?  i feel a sense of brotherhood and compassion for my fellow citizens, and i also feel like the whole country is elevated when we raise up the "least of our brothers and sisters".  i worry about the economy, but only as far as i worry about the deep political and philosophical divide among those in power.  i think the economic system is far too complex and interdependent for one man to do much about - the world is different now, and we need to accept that and move on rather than hankering to policies that worked in the early 80s (or never worked at all).  i worry most about education, since i believe it's the foundation of everything - will i be able to afford to send my children to school?  will they have access to teachers who care?  who are not just pawns in some ridiculous union battle?  will college be affordable and attainable for them?  for their peers and friends?  i worry about safety - when money talks, how do those without it make people listen?  children, single mothers, the elderly - who is looking out for these groups when the government is looking out for corporations?   i worry about the rest of the world - we live in a completely different reality than what existed even 10-15 years ago...are we getting on board with that reality?  are we set up for success and peace among the international community? 

at the end of the day, these were just a few of the concerns that factored in to my vote.  i'm glad that obama won, but i don't think he's the answer.  i think there is a lot of work to do.  i find it interesting that some of the political opposition have said that obama did nothing over the last four years, but simultaneously believe he is capable of completely destroying everything good and pure in the universe in the next four.  one cannot be useless and all-powerful at the same time.  i also think the hyperbole around the destruction of our country and the blatant misinformation from mainstream news media is terrifying.  these are strange times, but i am hopeful that we can all take a minute to check our motives and our biases and decide to work together for the good of the whole.  after all, i've got kids to raise in this great land...

30 weeks.

week: 30

baby stats: baby is the size of a cucumber or a head of cabbage this week, which is funny because i would consider each of those bits of produce smaller than the squashes of last week, but whatever.  we're probably near the 3 pound mark and in the 16-inch range, although all of these things are relative at this point, i think.  more brain development and fat accumulation are happening, and his/her vision is improving. 

aversions/cravings: nothing, really.  since i am being so careful about what i eat now, food is not in any way fun or exciting.  it is purely utilitarian. 

bump: the bump itself seems pretty normal, but i am getting less comfortable.  harder time sleeping, and i'm really achy in my lower abdomen.  still, i really really can't complain.  this pregnancy has taken it pretty easy on me. 

worries: my mental state hasn't been the best this week.  i'm trying really hard to keep a great attitude, and i can maintain it for a little while and then i get all wrung out again.  sigh.  i seriously have nothing to complain about, but i hate this gestational diabetes thing.  it makes me feel like a failure.  i am (still) not loving my job and i just feel like i have so much i want/need to be doing that i am just not doing.  instead of this being a challenge to me (which is how i usually like to think of such things), i just feel defeated and am nervous and anxious about everything that's not happening.  it's really counter-productive.  i also don't have a child care plan for small smalls for when i go back to work, so i am stupidly worried about that.  anyway...in general, i have all this stuff on my mind that is very unrelated to this actual baby, and that isn't cool since i want to be thinking about what a sweet little bundle we're expecting, becoming a family of four, etc. etc.  

looking forward to: emme kay's second birthday party this weekend!  holidays.  slowing it down (ha ha ha.).  doctor's appointment this week. finding out if small smalls has flipped. 

boy or girl?: boy...or girl.  this week i really have no clue.  i think that means i need to re-center and focus on the important things. 

missing the most: not thinking so much about what i'm eating.  

 

pregnancy milestone: we just completed our last weekend of travel before the bebe.  yay!  we were in kansas this weekend to celebrate my mother in-law's 60th birthday, and we won't be taking another overnight adventure until after we have two kiddos.  thanksgiving is super busy and i have some work stuff that will prevent me from fully relishing the holiday, so we're staying in tejas.  and, i'll be almost 38 weeks giant for christmas, so it's probably a good idea to stick close to home.  in any case, though i will miss having thanksgiving with my parents, i am really really excited about "owning" both holidays this year.  i don't expect to go all out, necessarily, but i'm sure we will do a few things to make it special for ekb.   

 

here is a quick video from this weekend.  there's a drive-thru starbuck's really close to jb's mom's house, so we took emme there both mornings we were in town.  she had her first ever hot cocoa and i think it's fair to say she loved it.  i asked for a single pump of mocha so it wasn't so intensely sweet, but she was very serious about getting every last drop, and drank the whole thing down in what felt like a matter of seconds.  

 

 

second halloween.

emme has been hearing about halloween for weeks now and she has been getting SO excited.  i guess i didn't really think about how much an almost two year old would "get" it, but she totally got it and has been talking about it non-stop.

i wanted to make her costume again this year since i don't know how many more years she'll allow me to do it.  i also wanted her to be something cute that she liked, so i decided on an owl.  it seemed appropriately halloween-y, but still kid-like.  she came home from school one day asking what she was going to be (mental note to relish the moments where she's asking me instead of telling me...).  when i proposed owl, her eyes lit up and she seemed pretty pumped up by the prospect, so i began construction.

the costume is not the most well put-together thing i've ever sewn, but it made it through the night.  i bought some fat eighths of grey and black fabric and justin helped me cut out all the feathers.  i sewed feathers on to the front of a plain black body suit.  then, i got some basic grey fabric (i was actually going for some fleece, but the fabric store was gangbusters the day we went to buy it, so i ended up with a discounted bit of pre-cut grey velvet-ish fabric that worked just fine).  i cut out two wings and sewed feathers on them.  i attached them to the body suit with black buttons on ek's upper back (i thought about tying ribbon around her neck and realized she was absolutely NOT going to go for that). i also attached a little bit of elastic where the wings would meet her wrists so she could flap.  i found a simple pattern for a jersey pilot's cap and sewed that out of the grey base fabric as well and stuck some little ear feathers on them.  not surprisingly, the first hat i sewed (for a 24 month old, according to the size instructions) was super tight on my baby's giant dome.  so, i sewed another one.  that one ended up being a little big (flappy around the ears), but it worked and saved me from having to whip up a third owl hat.  anyway...i loved sewing the hat because i got to use a new stitch - double overlap.  very exciting for me.  we threw on black tights and black shoes, and that was the costume!  i did also make her a pair of felt glasses to get the big owl eye effect, but she wanted no part of those either.

for trick or treating, we drove down to our friends' neighborhood that goes all out for halloween.  it was quite the trek dealing with traffic - it took me and emme 1 hour and 45 minutes to get there, during which she told me she had to potty and there was nothing i could do.  i felt awful about being the cause of an accident when she's been doing so great with potty training.  anyway...we finally made it down.  justin met us and we got ek changed into her costume.  she was jazzed.  i should mention that the night before halloween, we carved a pumpkin and ate homemade chili, so she was pretty excited about seeing more jack-o-lanterns.   she loved her own jack-o-lantern so much that she made us bring it (lit up) into the bathroom for bath time.  jenny, our hostess, had sandwiches and sweet potato fries and fruit for the kiddos and delicious korean tacos and edamame salad for the adults, so we tried to get her to eat a few bites of real food before trick or treating began.

she started off in a wagon, but ended up walking most of the way holding my hand.  she was SO serious about saying trick or treat and walking up to the doors.  she would delicately take just one piece of candy and it was so so cute.  she would place it in her little bag and then run to get me and justin.  at one point, i asked her if it was time to head back and pointed back to our home base and she pointed in the opposite direction and said "maybe go this way?".  i think it's fair to say she loved it.

when we got back, she got to eat her first ever kit kat.  i'm not sure she even chewed - she loved it.  her daddy gave her a tootsie pop mid-trick or treating, and she was a fan of that as well.

this morning, she slept until almost 8:00 and woke up talking about all the fun she had.  she even told me she dreamed about halloween.

and now for the pics - some from the real camera, some iphone shots.  you take what you can get when there are that many distractions....

29 weeks.

week: 29

baby stats: baby is a squash this week - butternut according to one site, acorn according to another.  this means over 2.5 pounds (and up to 3.8 pounds, but i don't think this bebe is that big yet), and anywhere from 15-18 inches.  craziness.  his/her brain is getting wrinkles as neurons continue to fire away.  muscles are developing and fat is being added, but this trimester is all about the brain for me.  yay, brains! 

aversions/cravings: anything and everything sweet, since i can't have it.  i feel like all i eat since this stupid gestational diabetes diagnosis is eggs. 

bump: getting bigger and less comfortable.  i woke up sunday with the fun pelvis-splitting pain i had with emme, almost to the exact day of when i noticed it with her. 

worries: really, this is a daily ebb and flow.  after my self-pitying day on thursday, i am doing a bit better.  saturday night was a night with very little sleep for me, which makes me more of a loose cannon where all these things are concerned, but i got some rest last night and am doing well today.  small smalls is moving a lot the last few days, and that is fabulous (though the nature of the movements make me think s/he is still breech). 

looking forward to: single digit weeks.  the holidays.  talking to doc and midwife next week and having some direction on the gestational diabetes.  the GIANT platter of sushi i'm going to eat in the hospital (but not from the hospital) when this kidlet is born. 

boy or girl?: boy...

missing the most: stupid sweets. 

pregnancy milestone: this isn't pregnancy related, but ek spent the weekend in underwear (big girl panties)!  only a couple of accidents, and i take responsibility for those since we were out on the town a LOT more than we should have been for the first weekend of full-on potty action.  she even took a three hour nap on saturday with no accident.  i'm really proud of her - she plowed through like a champ yesterday despite being a cranky mongrel on much less sleep than normal.  i can't believe the dream of having only one in diapers looks like it will be a reality! 

some pics from the weekend - we had a party at my boss's house on saturday evening and justin asked me to hold his beer while he brought emme to use the potty.  a co-worker took full advantage of the opportunity to snap a pic of the pregnant lady with the beer.  haha. 

doing the best you can.

i had a mini meltdown yesterday while driving home from work.  my blood sugar has been high despite my attempts at doing what i think i'm supposed to be doing.  i actually don't even know if it's that high, or if i'm doing the right things.  i am just supposed to be monitoring until my next appointment, and then we will discuss and they will make recommendations. 
anyway.  it was a combination of factors, i guess.  i hate my job these days - it is so frustrating, and each day makes me feel like i made poor decisions somewhere along the way that led to me working in an industry i don't care about that i don't think is doing anything positive to change the world.  i haven't been sleeping well - i've been having weird dreams and i'm getting to the more uncomfortable phase of pregnancy (though it's really not even that bad yet), coupled with emme being noisier than usual in the night and all our pets deciding it's appropriate to tell me how much they love me in the wee hours.  i feel all these looming deadlines and functions floating on the horizon, but i just feel paralyzed by everything i want to do, so i haven't done anything.  and then, of course, the stupid gestational diabetes.  i realize this is not a big deal in the grand scheme and i have perspective, i swear.  but with my stupid sugar levels being crazy (i hear this can also be impacted by stress - ha.), i of course read too much about everything on the internet yesterday, and started flipping out about how i may get real diabetes in a few years and i am dooming myself to having a 900 pound baby who will have shoulders too big to deliver and will struggle with obesity his/her entire life, all because my body is not responding properly to insulin. 
so.  obviously, the flip out was somewhat ridiculous and i am much better now.  i know in reality how fortunate i am and that none of the things i'm grappling with right now are impossible to contend with.  i have perspective.  it just made me realize, once again, how hard i am on myself.  how do i teach my kids to not be like this?  when i was talking to my mom about it later in the evening, she reminded me that i am doing the best i can, and that's all anyone can do.  and my immediate mental reaction to that was "am i doing the best i can?".  but i think what i really meant in my head was "am i doing the best it could be done, by anyone ever, regardless of circumstances?".  because that is how i think - in absurd absolutes.  i'm much better about this than i used to be.  it's a constant work in progress.  but it's a tough way to live - always aspiring to unachievable standards and never content with your own journey.  i'll keep trying. 

ratter.

justin is out of town until tomorrow night for work.  he doesn't travel for work very often, and for that i am grateful, especially during the last few months of pregnancy, where bending down to bathe the toddler or pick up discarded stickers becomes infinitely more daunting.  i do enjoy his infrequent absences a little bit, though, as they afford me the opportunity to take leisurely baths and read for however long i want and let etta curl up next to me in bed.  not that i can't do those things with him around, but i like talking to him too much, so i tend to favor that over retreating inward after big smalls goes to bed. 
anyway.  last night, i got ek down, cleaned the kitchen, took a nice bath, and was reading on the couch around 9:15 or so, when i heard intense dog scrambling on the deck.  i got up to see what the fuss was about, and i could tell that they had cornered something.  concerned that it was the neighbors aging cat, i tapped on the door to distract them for a second so i could get a glimpse.  what i saw was a gigantic, likely-dead rat. 
i called the pups inside (i didn't want them eating/further mutilating said rat and making themselves sick) and called my parents (justin was still at dinner).  my dad answered and offered the following suggestions:

• put the rat in three garbage bags with an entire box of baking soda.  place bag(s) of rat in freezer until trash day.
• go outside with shovel and gloves.  scoop up rat and deposit behind fence in creek area.  
• call neighbor or nearby friend to come handle situation.  

needless to say, i almost died laughing at all of these suggestions.  the first is an on-going joke in our house because my dad does not like stinky garbage (who does, really?  but c'mon.), so he is famous for bagging the odious garbage (shrimp shells, chicken carcasses, etc.) and placing it in the freezer.  while i understand the logic behind this idea (as i told dad last night), i forget about this weird smelly bag in the freezer.  so, in the grand scheme, i would much rather deal with stinky garbage for 2 days than with finding a rat carcass in my freezer in 4 months that i've completely forgotten about.   i know this is a possibility because i revisited the remains of our thanksgiving turkey in march or april of one year and it was traumatic. 
anyway.  dad's rebuttal to my carcass-in-the-freezer conundrum was that he sets an alarm on his phone calendar to remind him to remove said carcass on trash day.  i told him i was pretty sure he's the only person in the known world that uses his phone for this particular reminder.  hilarious. 
the other ideas were appreciated, but i was imagining my super pregnant, pajama-clad self sneaking through our dark backyard in the late evening to deal with this rat and the rat springing back to life and scaring me into a fall or worse.  i do not relish the idea of myself as a barefooted upside-down turtle in my own backyard, with no one nearby to help.  and, of course, i have far too much pride to call someone to help. 
so.  i did what i am pretty sure any and every other reasonably-minded person in my situation would do.  i left the rat on the deck.  went to sleep.  and dealt with him in the morning, in the light, whereby i scooped him up with a shovel and sent him to his final resting place in the creek behind our fence.  i captured a picture of him, though i'm not sure it does justice for his gargantuan size.  this sucker was nearly the length of my forearm.  and i felt bad for him, in some twisted overwhelmingly sensitive way...but this is the circle of life, right? 

28 weeks.

week: 28

baby stats: small smalls is the size of a chinese cabbage or an acorn squash.  the average bebe weighs about 2.5-3.8 lbs at this point and is 15.2-16.7 inches.  that seems really specific, but whatever.  anyway...because we had an ultrasound last friday, we know this bebe is about 2.5 lbs, measuring on track with a slightly larger head than the rest of its body (taking after its sister already!).  lungs are developing, fat is accumulating, and in general we are in hyper growth mode now.  

aversions/cravings: mexican food.  m&m's.  

bump: i haven't noticed a big size differential this week.  what i do notice are some days it looks like i am carrying at boob level and some days it looks like this baby is full on in my pelvis.  

worries: we had the 28 week ultrasound on friday afternoon at the same time as my glucose screening and other blood work.  the ultrasound was really fun, though i still think i'm not 100% crazy about that procedure.  i just feel like i'm spying on the baby and that's its personal time in there, ya know?  am i the only person who feels like this?  anyway...of course, i LOVE seeing small smalls and that s/he is fine, it just kind of feels like watching a creepy art movie to me.  SO...the good news is, kidneys look good.  still towards the upper limits of normal, but within normal range.  huge relief.  amniotic fluid looks good and everything else looks normal (big head, but i expected that).  the bebe is breech right now, which is of course no big deal at 28 weeks.  s/he had its face smashed up against the wall of my uterus, so we didn't get any really good pictures, but that is ok.  we did get to see a really cool view of him/her sticking its tongue out and gulping amniotic fluid, which was wild and really rad to watch.
yesterday, i got the call from my favorite nurse that i have gestational diabetes.  i had to do the three hour test with ek and ended up being fine, but apparently my glucose levels were so high this time that they just declared me diabetic and now i'm doing finger sticks 4 times a day.  i was really surprised, honestly, since i felt like i was so much more...in control for this pregnancy.  but, i know i gained a ton of weight with ek the last 10 weeks and i feel like this is just an opportunity to make sure i'm taking really good care of myself and the baby.  it's annoying to have one more thing to deal with/think about/plan for/monitor.  but, not bad at all considering all the scary and terrible things that my brain can conjure.  so.  i'm cutting out refined carbs and sugar (it's really just the m&m's but MAN i love those things).  trying to focus on protein intake, which is good at this point considering all the brain development happening.  

looking forward to: more ultrasounds, i guess?  since baby is breech and i have GD, i am thinking i will have several more to monitor size and position.  

boy or girl?: boy....boys are trouble, i tell ya!  (that is a joke).  

missing the most: now?  m&m's.  

pregnancy milestone: less than three months to go!

27 weeks.

week: 27

baby stats: bebe is the size of a rutabaga and weighs about the same as a head of cauliflower, they say.  14-15 inches and 2 lbs. or so.  his/her lungs are ramping up and baby's brain is showing some action. 

aversions/cravings: nothing special.  i had been fiending for some of my mom's gumbo, so when we were in lafayette over the weekend, i gladly indulged in 3 bowls.  my craving is (temporarily) satisfied....

bump: getting bigger.  in the grocery store yesterday, the woman at the register said "are you having a boy?", which i thought was funny since 2 days earlier one of mom's friends said she thought it was definitely a girl.  both referenced the size/shape/way i'm carrying as their justification of gender.  funny. 

worries: well, thursday afternoon i had some light spotting right before we were leaving town, so i ran to my doc's office to have a quick listen and set my mind at ease.  of course, the nurse who was doing the doppler couldn't find the baby's heartbeat for a few minutes, so she left the room to grab the doc or midwife.  i had a nice 10 minutes by myself at that juncture to flip out and pray and breathe.  my ob came in and was able to find the heartbeat (the first time, baby's hb was wrapped around mine, which was kind of cool to hear).  it was a nice and strong 152 bpm.  we have an ultrasound to check on kidneys, etc. on friday, so i am looking forward to that as well.  obviously, the spotting concerned me (even though it wasn't bad at all and i've read/heard/been told it's very common).  i've also had loads of braxton-hicks, so i can do a pretty good job of getting myself worked up over all this stuff.  but i think everything really is fine, and i have no reason to anticipate that this baby would come earlier than s/he should.  it was a good little lesson for me to calm down and work on my stress level.  i am going to try to give myself some respite (heading in to the busiest season of the year, no less).  i am going to try not to do too much heavy lifting - meaning i will have to reserve my cuddle time with ek to seated cuddling, but i think i can manage that. 

looking forward to: the ultrasound.  feeling more calm about everything. 

boy or girl?: boy....

missing the most: i had a really intense desire to go for a run the other day. 

pregnancy milestone: third trimester.  yay!  and also, whoa. 

pedernales falls.

when we were in vermont and denver, we did a little hiking and remembered (again) just how much we really love being outside, especially in places where temps are not 900 degrees.  we made a little pact that as soon as the weather was semi-functional, we would make an effort to get out and about with the pups and the pooter so we could enjoy all the glories of nature that central texas has to offer.

this weekend was supposed to be our first real cool snap, so justin suggested we hit the road early on saturday and hike either canyon lake or pedernales falls - two central texas gems we haven't explored yet.  we settled on the pedernales.  we planned to take off around 7:45, but since ek slept until 8:30, we ended up hitting the road around 9 or so.  apple's new maps app on my iphone gave us the WORST directions possible, so we lost about 40 minutes of travel time, but made it to the trails anyway.  the weather was overcast and grey and about 62 degrees.  awesome.

there is a 4-7 mile loop that we didn't think we were prepared for (depressing, since that used to be a good distance for us), so the park lady gave us a map and suggested we take a shortcut that was about 2 miles.  perfect, since jb was carrying ek in the bjorn and i am wicked pregnant.  well, we are clearly awesome at reading maps, so we took the turn we thought we were supposed to take and ended up wandering through woods with NO trail for a bit over an hour.  um, woops.  it was actually pretty hilarious and really fun, our little off-roading adventure.  we had many run-ins with cacti, and tromped through several fields of yellow wildflowers.  the dogs loved every minute of it - and they both have the burs in their fur and the cactus prickers in their noses/chins to prove it.  we finally made it back to the trail about 27 feet north of where we had detoured.  sigh.  we headed back to the river for some splashing before driving to the waterfalls overlook and hiking down there for a few minutes.  the whole area is really really pretty and bizarre that it's only an hour or so outside of austin.

we did experience a small loss on saturday.  emme wore her keen's on the hike (as did we), and when we were getting back in the car to drive to the overlook, i was changing her clothes/shoes since she was damp from playing in the water.  justin put her shoes on top of the car and we drove off, completely forgetting they were up there!  we discovered one in the middle of the road on the way out of the park, but never did see the other, despite about 20 minutes of searching.  bummer, but we are entering fall and the shoes were almost too small for her anyway, so we chalked it up to the cost of adventure....

26 weeks.

week: 26

baby stats: bebe is the size of a head of lettuce or an english cucumber...er, about 14 inches and 1.5-2 lbs.  s/he has eyelashes now and is taking practice breaths of amniotic fluid.  man, i love pregnancy. 

aversions/cravings: sweets this week.  definitely indulged in an orea milkshake the night of the presidential debate. 

bump: growing right along.  i am noticing all the other pregnant women in the universe and i am continually amazed by how differently-shaped everyone's bellies are.  the old wives would have you believe there are two types of bellies - the "everywhere" belly and the "basketball" belly.  i have neither of those this time, but i think most women have something else, too.  

worries: most of my stress/worries this week are around life things, not bebe things, which is good/bad, depending on how you look at it.  our dishwasher (or maybe our sink/garbage disposal?) is leaking water; our tenants need some work to be done; justin's car wouldn't start this morning; i don't know whether we should send our children to public/private school (which somehow feels like a decision i have to make SOON, even though my oldest is not yet 2 and my second has not yet been born...).  anyway.  i am practicing some deep breathing, but i am not the best at handling uncertainty.  control issues, much? 

looking forward to: halloween!  i have started slowly working on her costume and i'm really excited about it.  i think she's going to "get" trick or treating this year, so that will be a blast. 

boy or girl?: boy, still.  

missing the most: not much.  sleeping on my stomach, maybe. 

pregnancy milestone: still rocking some sweet heartburn, especially when i eat meat, which is weird. other than that, i have really been feeling great.  the headaches seem to have subsided a bit (thank goodness) and i haven't been dealing with sciatic pain or swelling or any of those other fun things that start cropping up right about now.  depending on who you ask, next week or the week after begins the third trimester.  how the heck did that happen??

some random stuff that happened back in june.

in my quest to get up to speed on project life (i'm about to wrap up may, seriously), i glanced through some pictures to see what i should print for weeks in june.  it's probably a little redundant to post stuff here and in PL, but in theory one will help me remember the other so...this is what i'm doing.

anyway...the first two pictures are from the first weekend in june.  we met up with several of emme's classmates for an afternoon playdate at the park.  the kids all recognize and know each other, but are at various levels of interactivity.  so...most of our time there was spent with ek rocking the slide.  i know, shocker.  it's weird to look at these pictures now.  i don't think of her as growing/developing as fast as she is, but this was only 4 months ago, and she wasn't even really speaking in sentences then!  now, i pick her up from school and she says "it's nice to see you, mama".  she also remembers grocery lists when i ask her to remind me what i said we needed at the store.  it blows my mind how fast it all goes.

the other set of pictures are from an after-work happy hour we did one friday in june with just the three of us.  emme was already pretty tired from the day and we went to a pretty loud/over-stimulating place called black star co-op.  we love the place - they make all their food from locally-sourced stuff and have great specials.  and the beer (which i of course could not partake in this go-round) is locally brewed and nice to sip on while watching your kiddo's antics.  but...she was not really feeling it this day.  after making our way through some grits with kale and a couple of other treats, we headed outside so she could watch the trains and climb on the big modern art sculpture.  the problem was she wanted to run into the busy street and/or climb onto really high things that she could easily fall off of.  anyway.  this was the scene of our first public tantrum.  i probably didn't handle it perfectly, but i am happy to say we've gotten a bit better since then.

more soup!

84 degrees is appropriate weather for soup.  i promise.  i had a couple of butternut squash in our produce stash from our recent CSA deliveries, so i glanced around pinterest and landed on this little delight one of my cousins had pinned.  i happened to have all the other ingredients on hand (when does that ever happen?), with the exception of the parsley.  but, i never have parsley, so i left it out.

i've been trying really hard to let emme help with making dinner as much as possible.  it keeps her distracted while i'm cooking, and makes her really excited about whatever it is we're going to eat.  anyway...the original recipe can be found here, but here's my version (a little shorter and a few modifications). 

ingredients:
- 1-2 butternut squash (i had two small ones so used both), peeled, seeded and cubed
- 1 onion, diced
- garlic, diced
- olive oil or coconut oil
- 4 cups of chicken broth
- 1-2 pounds of shredded chicken (i bought pre-shredded chicken this week, but usually i make my own and freeze the stock)
- 1 can diced tomatoes (i used ro-tel since that's what i had and it gave the soup a nice little kick, but not too spicy for emme)
- 2/3 cup of quinoa
- 1 cup (more or less to taste) of kalamata olives, chopped in to fourths
- salt, pepper, oregano, and parsley (if you want it/have it)

steam your butternut squash for about 12 minutes.  take out half the squash and set aside while steaming the rest of the squash for another 5-10 minutes (until soft enough to mash).  meanwhile, saute onions in olive or coconut oil.  add garlic and oregano once onions are translucent and stir for about a minute.  add canned tomatoes and stir.  add squash cubes and squash mash and mix everything together.  pour in chicken broth and return everything to a simmer.  add quinoa, cover, and let simmer on low for about 15 minutes.  take lid off, throw in your chicken and olives.  stir for 5-10 minutes to heat and mingle flavors.  add parsley at this time if you want to.  salt and pepper to taste.  this is a quick soup that only takes about 25-35 minutes, so it's perfect for weeknights.  i recommend serving with crusty bread...which we didn't have last night, but will definitely make next time! 

25 weeks.

week: 25

baby stats: bebe is the size of a cauliflower or a rutabaga.  not sure if that's weight, length, or bulk, but whatever.  it gives some kind of visual.  anyway...s/he is starting to put on fat and hair, two of my favorite things on babies.  ha.  improved sense of equilibrium, and baby's eyelids can open and close now.  amazing.  

aversions/cravings: this was a hungry week.  we went out for fajitas with some friends friday night, and i felt like i could probably eat 7 pounds of beef.  wondering if this means i'm anemic, but i guess we'll see soon enough (28 week appointment).  

bump: getting bigger by the minute, it seems.  this was definitely a growth spurt week, as i'm now getting the "you're due when?" comments.  i've really missed those - ha.  

worries: keeping it all at bay this week.  my worries have been much more focused on practical things like what the heck are we going to do about child care for two kiddos and where will i send my children to school and how might one fit two carseats in the back of a jetta (justin's car)??

looking forward to: fall/winter snuggly baby time with both my littles.  wow.  

boy or girl?: boy, still.  

missing the most: not feeling too restricted this week.  i think the fajitas helped.  

pregnancy milestone: nothing really new.  heartburn is still full throttle.  leg cramps are a pain.  i accidentally kicked pippa during a particulary fun leg cramp the other night and she attacked my foot/ankle.  i've also been having terrible dreams lately, but not sure if that's a pregnancy thing or what.  OH - my friend wendy just gave me a zillion maternity clothes that are amazing.  i don't think that really qualifies as a milestone, but it's the greatest thing ever to have clothes to wear!  i hate shopping, so i've been just skating by on random stuff, but now i have a proper maternity wardrobe (that might actually be nicer than my normal wardrobe...).  

what's different this time: it's still just soooo fast.  like a blur.  here is a picture of emme and my dad being silly when my folks were here a couple of weekends ago.  i love this.