and then there were four.

where does one even begin when telling the story of how another person enters the world?  of course there are the gritty details - the ins and outs that close friends and people with a particular fascination about such things (like me) - to divulge.  but the real part...the part that involves adding a new soul to your little circle of family on earth...that is really indescribable.  

at 12:35 a.m. friday, january 4, our son hollis taylor arrived pink and screaming.  birth story, gritty details included, is below.  he weighed 7 lbs. 14 oz. and was 20.5 inches long.  the consensus so far is that he looks remarkably like his daddy, though comparison pics with his sister are pretty close too.  he is very laid back and sweet so far - nursing like a champion, sleeping a lot, making all those newborn faces and sounds that could just split your heart in a million pieces.  he hates having his diaper changed, but other than that he is a really happy boy.  loves the swaddle.  loves to lie on whomever is available.  growing stronger and more alert each day.  

in the hospital, the nurses and pediatricians could still detect his heart arrhythmia.  we were hopeful it would disappear immediately, but it did not.  we were evaluated by a cardiologist on friday evening and, though he could hear it, he did not seem overly concerned.  we will see him again next week for a repeat EKG and consult.  when we saw the pediatrician sunday morning, he could not hear the arrhythmia at all, so that is really positive news.  i know what signs to look for for sustained tachycardia, and so far so good, so we're just praying he keeps up the good work and we're in the clear with all this.  

big sister emme kay is astounding us all with how amazingly she is adapting.  i know this isn't the easiest thing she's ever had to come to terms with, and she is being so mature and sweet.  it has really really helped to have my parents in town to distract her and offer her lots of attention.  i am trying my best to talk to her about everything i'm doing (nursing is particularly fascinating, as you might imagine), and to take advantage of extra hands to put my boy down when possible so i can give her some one on one time.  i'm so so so thankful that she has school to keep her schedule somewhat steady and that she loves it so much and is so excited to go.  man, i love that girl.  

so, without further ado, here are a boat load of pics from the first 100 hours of hollis's life.  all from my iphone.  i'm a little slow on the downloads and technology stuff as i'm kind of distracted these days.  

birth story:

i know not everyone is super interested in this stuff, so feel free to skip.  i was nervous about being induced, but hopeful (if not confident) that my body would take over early on in the process and we would have a baby in short order.  my parents arrived in town around 6 on thursday night.  we got emme fed, bathed, and down for the night which made me so happy - i loved being able to give her one last night of a semi-normal routine before her little world was rocked.  at around 7:15, mom, justin, and i headed to the hospital.  i had had my membranes swept for the second time that morning and had had contractions off and on during the day, but nothing timeable or super exciting.  we got checked in and brought to our room.  we had two nurses - lauren and malea - who were both excellent.  shawntai, my doula, arrived in short order and we all sat around while we monitored the baby for a little while to make sure its heartbeat was reactive and could handle the pitocin.  dr. campaigne came in a few times and there was lots of joking and fun.  we started the pitocin drip (low dose) at around 9 pm i think - i was at about 5 cm, 80%, and -1 station.  for about an hour or hour and a half, everything was fine.  i could talk and laugh and then every once in a while i would breathe through a contraction and things were going great.  we upped the pitocin and dr. c broke my water around 10 or so and that is when things started to get real.  the contractions on pit were much harder than those i had for emme.  emme's never stopped, which was brutal to deal with (i don't think they were less than 30 seconds apart for the better part of my labor), but these were intense and wicked painful.  the saving grace was that they were 2-3 minutes apart so i did have some respite.  i was feeling a lot of pressure, so dr. c turned the pit off, hoping that my body could just take it from there, but i could feel the effect (or lack thereof) almost immediately.  it was super frustrating to feel the labor literally turning itself off, and i told everyone we needed to put it back on to keep the party going (even though i was already a little bit not in love with the pitocin).  the next two hours were pretty brutal for me.  it got way quiet and way hard.  i got in the shower with justin for a while, which really helped, but i had to try to stay on the monitor for the baby (because of the pitocin) and the machines weren't working well.  it was soooo hard to try to stay in one place and to have the pressure of those monitors on my belly and everyone feeling around, trying to get baby's heartbeat.
anyway.  dr. campaigne came it at some point and i told her i was feeling pressure and she asked if i wanted to be checked.  i am pretty sure i got a little whiny at this point - i was tired and really hurting and i remember i just kept saying "i just want it out of me - i need to push it OUT".  she checked me and i was at 7cm but baby was low and i was fully effaced.  i was furious that i was only at 7.  ha.  this is when i hit my lowest point.  i kept looking at justin and at dr. campaigne and saying i think i need the drugs, can i please just have an epidural?  it really just hurt SO badly and i was so demoralized to think it could go on for many more hours.  dr. c and i are close, though, and she looked me right in the eyes and told me she was going to help me do it.  i could tell she was gauging to see how serious i was about the drugs.  i could also see that a) i would not be able to get an epidural before i had to deal with the next horrible contraction and b) my birth team was not going to let me give up that easily (bless their hearts).  campaigne had me push through a few contractions up on hands and knees, bearing down.  that was unbelievably hard, but also really productive.  in my head, i remember trying to command my body to just let it happen.  i needed it to be fast and i was determined.  in the span of about 10 minutes or so (i think - i really have no concept of time at this point, but i know it wasn't too long), i went from 7 cm to 9 cm.  campaigne manually took me to 10 - brutal, but SO worth it and mentally really helpful to know that someone could help encourage my body along.  anyway.  as soon as she said i was there, i pushed once and out came hollis's head.  twice, and the rest of his body was out.  i seriously cannot believe how fast it all went down - i didn't even need a stitch!  i also cannot even describe how immediately i felt a bazillion times better.  it's the biggest relief of all time ever.  he was furious and they put him on my chest and we were covering him with blankets to keep his body temperature up.  he was still covered with a decent amount of vernix.  justin managed to get a peek under the blankets and he looked at me and said "mommy, we have a boy!".  he scored 9 and 9 on his apgar and we let his cord finish pulsing (mostly - i was ready to deliver the placenta, so we may have preempted it by a minute or two).  i got to keep him on me for a good while before they took him over for weights and measures.
so i guess that's it!  the rest was pretty standard, except we were really lucky that they indulged us in many things.  they did his exam in room with us, delayed his bath for about 8 or 9 hours, and even let me hold him while they did foot printing, etc.  he had swallowed a ton of fluid, so watching them stick a tube down his throat to suck it out was not fun, but it helped him nurse SO much better.
and there you have it.  my second natural birth.  hard and intense and incredible.  i am so thankful for everyone that was there.  and i am completely in love with this little boy.

arrhythmias and inductions.

it has been a whirlwind last couple of days where this pregnancy/baby are concerned.  we had our 39 week appointment yesterday (wednesday) morning, even though it was technically 38 weeks, 4 days.  i try not to get too hung up on exact due dates, but that is hard when you spend 9-10 months with the date january 12 looming in front of you. 

anyway.  appointment was routine and good.  my belly measured 40 weeks.  liane offered to strip my membranes (justin will surely give me grief for over-sharing again), i declined.  i've been having some fun contractions in the evenings, but nothing too crazy and nothing timeable yet.  we got out the doppler to listen to bebe for a minute, and liane noticed something a little off.  as we listened, justin and i could hear it too - an arrhythmia.  this is the point where i am exceedingly thankful for how calm and wonderful my practitioners are.  liane explained that it is likely nothing - they see arrhythmias very frequently and it always ends up being just fine on the outside.  but, she checked with dr. c to discuss what we should do - an NST or an ultrasound.  doc recommended a trip to the fetal u/s specialist, dr. darby, so we headed to his office and luckily they were able to get us in right away. 

the short story is, skipper looks great.  i have a good amount of fluid, s/he is head down, all things are go for launch.  also, baby's heart looks perfect, structurally.  but, s/he definitely has a supra-ventricular tachycardia.  which basically just means that sometimes, his atrium gets over-zealous and gives an extra beat.  then, the ventricles try to either catch up by beating hella fast, or they skip a beat.  the super fast beating is where the concern comes in - baby's heartbeat can rocket up to 250 or so for that one beat.  which means there is less great blood flow, but more importantly, it just makes the kiddo super tired.  so.  dr. darby said he would call my doc, but that if i didn't have the baby by friday, he'd like to see me again on friday just to look again. 

i can't really explain why this information has not flipped me out more than it has.  of course, i am concerned (as all parents are with any news about their children).  but i really believe and feel like this is totally fine.  liane called me shortly after she and campaigne talked to dr. darby and i went and got my membranes stripped.  we talked about various courses of action.  no one is in an extreme hurry, but we all feel like it's time to welcome baby to the outside...or at least, give him/her some strong nudges in that direction. 

so, last night we hung out.  had a nice dinner.  took a nice bath.  got some on-again, off-again sleep.  this morning, i headed back to the office to see dr. campaigne and discuss.  though she is not worried enough to expedite this process more aggressively, she did suggest i head to the hospital tonight after emme goes down and my parents get to town.  she stripped my membranes again, so it's possible/likely things will start moving forward on their own over the course of the day.  but, if they don't, we will do a little dose of pitocin for an hour or two at the hospital, then break my water to get the party started. 

i am comfortable with this plan.  those who know me well know how non-interventionist i am with these things, but i totally believe my body and this baby are ready.  i also believe that minimizing stress on me and the bebe are in everyone's best interests, and this seems like a good, not super-invasive way to do things.  i like spontaneity, but this is a decent compromise.  i mean, hey, i didn't know i was being induced until this morning! 

anyway...if all goes according to plan, we should have another baby in the next 24 hours.  wow.  please keep us in your prayers for an easy, unmedicated birth and for all good things with little skip's heart. 

happy new year.

last night, the neighborhood erupted into fireworks and they didn't stop until after 4.  i had various homicidal thoughts towards all my neighbors, especially when sometime around 12:45 ekb woke up and didn't really settle back down again until close to 4, when i finally relented and just crawled in to bed with her.  not sleeping because of a full human in my uterus, contractions, etc., compounded by not sleeping because of an upset toddler and disrespectful neighbors had me in a fit.  

but.  when i woke up to that sweet face this morning and a brand new year, i was very calm.  new years day at our house so far has looked like this: lots of (decaf) coffee.  candles lit around the house.  clean (or, as clean as our house gets, really).  scrambled eggs with avocado for breakfast.  laundry on.  a pork roast in the oven, black eyes and scratch-made garlic mashed potatoes on the stove.  two dogs curled up on their beds.  grey with a cold front coming in outside.  all of us still in pajamas.  boring bowl games on the telly.  a quick video chat conversation with my family.  in short, a perfect day, really.  when emme gets up from her nap, we will eat our traditional dinner (the cole slaw will be created closer to eating time).  we may eventually put on real clothes and go for a walk or to a park with the dogs, but i'm not 100% sure.  in any case, i am so calm and happy today.  i am so thankful for everything we have - our family, friends.  our warm home.  2012 flew by so fast.  my goal is to be a little more deliberate in 2013.  take it more slowly and appreciate all of this fantastic life a little more.  

38 weeks.

week: 38

baby stats: well, the baby is the size of a baby now.  the length of a leek, size of a pumpkin.  weight and length at this point are averages, so assuming this baby is about the same size as emme at this point, s/he is probably around 7 pounds now.  i can't wait to see him/her.  

aversions/cravings: still coasting on my christmas free day.  my heartburn is in full effect, so nothing is super satisfying when you re-visit it for hours on end.

bump: out there.  tried on my belly cast from last pregnancy again, though, and i can still fit an arm or two in there compared to where i am now.  pretty sure that extra room was not baby.  ha.  and this belly is still plenty big.  

worries: my head is in a decent place.  of course i have a lot of anticipation/nervousness.  stuff like wanting to make sure ek is a-ok when i go into labor.  stuff like worrying that my labor will be so crazy fast that i'll have a baby in the car.  stuff like wanting to accommodate schedules of who's attending the birth and who's helping out at home (including but not limited to: my parents, alison, my doula, justin, etc.).  but all of that is just logistics, and i am mostly just trying to harness my chi about the whole ordeal.  

boy or girl?: i'm still calling boy.  

missing the most: sleep.  normal sinuses.  

pregnancy milestone: lots this week.  i got checked at my 38 week appointment on friday and i'm 2-3 cm and 80% effaced.  is that too much info to share on a blog?  anyway...i didn't get checked until 40 weeks with ek, and i was nowhere with her and she was born less than 48 hours later, so i am not really placing any stock in this bit of information.  still, it's interesting/somewhat exciting for me.  i also have been losing my mucus plug (worst name for any activity your body performs ever) today, so that is also exciting.  again...doesn't mean anything until it does, but all signs point to things starting to progress, albeit slowly.
anyway.  we packed our bags on friday night and cleaned out cars and installed the car seat base this weekend.  all clothes and bedding are clean.  i picked up a bassinet from wendy and it's ready to go (well, it has my birthing ball in it right now, but other than that it is ready).  so.  the checklist is complete, really.  i'm on top of laundry, the house is reasonably clean, all christmas decorations are put away.  all we need is a few more days (i think it would be nice to resume a routine for ek, which happens on wednesday.  i also like the idea of 39 weeks.) and a baby....

37 weeks.

week: 37

baby stats: i love reading things like "babies born between this point and 42 weeks are considered full term".  yay!  our baby is the size of a winter melon this week, whatever that means.  s/he averages 6.13 lbs. and 19 inches.  both my midwife and chiropractor think this baby is an average size at this point, so things appear to be in a good place.  i don't feel like i'm going in to labor any time in the super near future, but really who knows?  the countdown is on.  

aversions/cravings: i got a free pass from my doc for christmas day and i totally lived it up.  i ate 2 cookies and a whole lot of other carbs that were amazing.  i feel like i can make it through the home stretch.

bump: getting bigger by the minute, it seems.  the lady at the door for christmas mass said "looks like you're going to be getting a christmas gift pretty soon".  yes ma'am.  also, when i am still for a few minutes, it looks like aliens are wrestling in my belly.  love it.  

worries: i am starting to anticipate labor (finally).  i'm trying to relax my mind and body and accept that it will be what it will be, but i do have the whole pressure of my awesome first birth experience to "live up to".  i know this one will be different and awesome in its own way, but i just hope i can do it all again.  i also am super excited/anxious about breastfeeding again.  i just hope i have the ease i had with emme this time too.  

boy or girl?: still having a hard time thinking that it could be a girl, but mostly i'm just curious to see him/her.  

missing the most: still sleep.  some nights are ok, but the hip/pelvic pain are hard core and my mind is busy busy.  

pregnancy milestone: i have the list of stuff to pack for the hospital (haven't actually packed it yet, but i think that will happen today....).  i also have the infant car seat out and just need to install it.  i did my pre-registration paperwork online for the hospital.  slowly slowly checking items off the list....

predictions.

my co-workers (the ones that sit in my little 4-cube area with me who are my favorite people at my company) have begun predicting the outcome of this pregnancy.  for posterity, i'm recording it here.  if you read this blog (do people read this blog?), feel free to add a comment and i will add your prediction here.  the most accurate predictor may win something, when and if i get it together to create things again.  wendy was almost 100% right on her emme prediction, so i'm anxious to hear what she says - i think she was 3 oz. off but got date and gender correct.  i don't think i'm quite ready to make a prediction yet.  let me cross a few more things off my to do list then i will add my thoughts.  whee!

david: boy; january 5.  no weight/length prediction because "those are just details".

jen: boy; january 8, 9 a.m.  8 lbs. 3 oz.; 21.5 inches.

kay: boy; january 13, 1:44 p.m. 8 lbs. 1 oz.; 21 inches.

emma: girl; january 4, 11 a.m. 7 lbs. 9 oz.; 20.5 inches.

wendy: boy; january 11; 7 lbs. 14 oz.; 20 inches.

justin: girl; january 11; 8 lbs. 4 oz.; 20 inches.

kk: boy; january 9; 8 lbs. 7 oz.

jasmine: boy; january 8, 8:00 p.m.; 8 lbs. 8 oz.

me: boy; january 18, 4:33 p.m.; 8 lbs. 4 oz.; 21 inches.

karen g: boy; january 2; 8 lbs. 10 oz.

lolo: boy; january 6; 7 lbs. 12 oz.

jeff a: boy; december 31/january 1, midnight; 7 lbs. 10 oz.

36 weeks.

week: 36

baby stats: this week bebe deux is the size of a crenshaw melon or a honeydew.  as a side note, emme had some honeydew at breakfast this weekend, and her saying honeydew is adorable.  i digress.  the average baby is about 6 pounds and 18 inches at this point.  s/he is gaining weight at the rate of an ounce a day.  four weeks to go (give or take).  whew! 

aversions/cravings: i made chocolate chip cookies from scratch for emme's teachers last night.  they smelled and looked amazing.  i really want some desserts. 

bump: i just had my 36 week appointment and am measuring exactly on track.  i thought this was a big growth week, but everything still looks normal and good.  liane felt my belly today and said it feels like a normal size baby (not the 32 pound baby i sometimes think i might deliver) and like i have a lot of water, which is great. 

worries: i'm starting to get really excited more than anything.  this morning, i saw someone's facebook post announcing the birth of her baby and i thought to myself "awwww, i want a new little baby!".  and then i remembered i'm pregnant and that is going to be me (not the facebook post, but the baby part) in just a few weeks!  it's going to be awesome, i think. 

boy or girl?: well, i told my mom last week that i would be SO surprised if this baby is a girl (and i maintain that i will be).  she reminded me that i said the EXACT same thing about emme.  which is probably true.  so...i'm still thinking boy.  but i'm also still thinking it will be one or the other.  ha.  we need to decide on some girl names. 

missing the most: sleeping.  the last week or so has been pretty rough for sleep.  pubic symphisis, peeing 3-4 times a night, emme waking up because of her cough/snotty nose...i guess it's all just part of prepping for when the kiddo shows up. 

pregnancy milestone: i filled out all my work paperwork for maternity leave and made a list of stuff to bring to the hospital.  i also moved ek's car seat to the side so i can install the infant seat base some time this week.  whoa.  i think the only major thing left is to get the bassinet situation set up so this bug has somewhere to sleep.  and to find our bouncy seat, which is MIA.  oh, i also need to talk to my boss since she's still in intense denial about the fact that i'm having a baby (she is still sending me meeting requests for january and asking me to take action items due in mid-january).  yeesh. 

instag-randomness.

looking through my phone pictures from the last couple of days, i think emme is hilarious lately. i think i thought that kids go through the whole pull-all-their-clothes-off-and-run-around phase a little earlier than now, and i guess i just figured we weren't going to go through that particular rite of passage. oh, but i was so wrong. every day when i pick her up, emme is in some state of undress. her newest preference is pulling one arm out of her neck and hanging out with the one-shouldered look. the highlight of her day is after dinner (and sometimes before), when she is allowed to strip down and run gleefully through the house shouting "iiiiiiii'mmmmm NAKED!". it's too funny/adorable to try to make her stop.

anyway.  i'm saying this only to explain the lack of clothing in the photos below.  the first was on a random night this week when she not only stripped before dinner, but also convinced me she needed 3 clementines (i usually stop her at 2).  she started putting them in front of her teeth like a mouth guard - what a funny kid.  the second happened on sunday afternoon when she discovered an additional pack of christmas stickers my mom sent in a package.  her daddy showed her how to peel them off the backing by herself, so she decorated her body, including the snowman on her belly button, my favorite touch.  she pulled her pants off so she could make sure she had a sticker on each knee, obviously.  third, and featuring her preferred one-shoulder look, is from last night when i squirted a small dollop of readi-whip onto her blackberries for dessert because she had eaten a PILE of spaghetti, meatballs, and spinach.  maybe i should give her sweets a tad more often so she knows how to control herself?  and finally, fully-clothed, is ek before school on monday, our first day of real cold this year.  she just looks so big in winter clothes, i can't take it!  and the face she is making is the face she now makes when i ask her to smile for the camera.  what a ham.  

35 weeks.

week: 35

baby stats: this is when the fruit comparisons start to get redundant and/or ridiculous, i think.  smalls is roughly the size of a honeydew melon or a coconut (i think coconuts are fairly small compared to some of the other recent fruit, but what do i know?).  so, approximately 5.25-5.8 pounds and 17.5-18.5 inches long.  baby's kidneys are good to go now, hearing is fully developed, musculoskeletal system is fully developed, and lungs are looking good.  the rest of this baby's time in my uterus is really about putting on lbs. and getting ready for exit.  

aversions/cravings: as expected, with the holidays on the horizon, i just want food.  i want to be in my kitchen baking and cooking and having lots of random people show up and eat at my house. 

bump: i am measuring right on track as of last week.  we start weekly appointments next week, so that is exciting as far as keeping track of growth.  i am definitely feeling the size of this kiddo lately - this is an active little niblet.  my belly button has still not popped out (it never did with emme), but i also don't have a linea negra this time (with her there was like a black tire track down my belly). i know there is a lot of growth to go over the last weeks, but it's almost hard to imagine it can get bigger than this. 

worries: hanging in there.  the last week or so has brought a TON of movement (i guess as baby's size increases and the amount of amniotic fluid decreases), so even though it can be not super comfortable on occasion (and can interfere with sleep), i LOVE this part of pregnancy.  i also love knowing that we're almost to the "safety zone" of size/development (in my own head).  also, we're in generally decent shape with preparation - clothes washed, boppy cleaned, etc - so that makes me less frantic.  i also submitted the paperwork for bebe at emme's school.  i am still hoping to find a nanny for the first year, but at least we have a back-up plan for when i go back to work, so that is a huge relief. 

boy or girl?: i can't remember the last time someone looked at my belly and guessed it will be a girl, so i am still firmly on the boy tip.  as i always say, though, i will still be surprised either way. 

missing the most: agility.  i'm not even an agile/graceful person, but i don't love how hard it is to bend over, pick up emme, etc.  but...totally worthwhile, obviously. 

pregnancy milestone: i'm in full-on final weeks insomnia/pelvis pain fun.  i like to think of these weeks as training for the newborn.  i really can't complain, though - i am really excited.  this is about to get really real.  wednesday marks the 1 month until my due date mark.  whoa!!

emme at 2.

i never seem to have a format or organizational structure for these posts.  it’s really hard because i start writing about one thing and it makes me think of 57 other anecdotes and then i just spiral off.  i will attempt to summarize emme at age 2. 

physical: i am still stunned when i see pictures of this little monkey from even a few months ago.  her hair has grown so much and she is definitely turning in to the taller and leaner girl she is becoming and less of the slightly chubby baby i have been in love with for so long now.  that last little thigh roll is on its way out – a fact that makes my heart ache just a little bit.  as far as who she looks like, i think we still get comments on her resemblance to kk the most.  i occasionally see a picture that makes me think she is me as a small person.  but there are definitely many moments where she looks EXACTLY like jb – even if it’s just the expression.  she is busy and active all the time.  she loves to hang on stuff – the oven door, the freezer drawer, the dishwasher handle, and any other reachable bar that can support her weight. 

emme is still a champion sleeper, a fact i am thankful for daily.  she sleeps roughly 12 hours at night (7:30-7:30 or so) and takes 3-4 hour naps when she’s at home most days (2 hours is pretty typical for school).  she’s a great eater, another thing that i relish because it makes life SO much easier.  i thought she wasn’t crazy about spinach, but she recently started loving creamed spinach, so that’s back on the list.  most days, she will try anything.  she definitely has meals where she’s not interested in food at all, of course.  she is a toddler, after all.  but in general i do not stress out about her growth or nutrition, which is lovely for a worry wart like me. 

we are also so fortunate that ek is such a healthy kid.  after the ear infection battle last winter/spring, we have not really had an illness to speak of.  the tubes are doing what they’re supposed to be doing (yay!), and her immune system seems to be pretty robust beyond that.  i’m sure this winter (if we actually get a winter) may bring a few bugs to our house, but i hope we can avoid most of them.  she does get a persistent little cough every so often that i think is allergies – when it gets really bad, i give her zyrtec before bed and that knocks it right out.  most other nights i rub eucalyptus oil on her feet and that does the trick! 

if i had to pick a favorite outdoor activity for this little bug, i would go with sliding.  she can spot a slide from miles away – it is nuts.  she gets great joy just from pointing them out to us – especially the “twirly” slides.  inside, she loves reading.  it’s how we start and finish most days, a routine that i love.  she also is obsessed with her baby right now.  she is very nurturing and sweet with baby, but it can get a little intense.  initially, i set a whole lot of boundaries with baby – no baby at the table, no baby in bed, no baby in the car, etc. – but i have bent on most of those.  fortunately, she is somewhat reasonable (most days) about letting baby take a nap when we have something else pressing.  she does also tell us “i’m a good little mama” when she’s giving baby a bottle or whatever.  so cute. 

finally, under this category, is the potty situation.  she has been (what i would consider) potty-trained since mid/late october or so.  it’s amazing.  we definitely have accidents here and there (more at school than at home, where i am reminding her all the time), but i can count on one hand the number of poop accidents we’ve had.  she also totally understands when she has an accident and why, which is great.  i did a brief bribery attempt about a week in to the training where i would give her an m&m each time we had a successful potty trip (i did this because she was randomly resisting and i wanted to motivate her to push through).  so now, she still asks for a “special treat” after most trips to the potty at home.  it’s really funny.  we still diaper her at night and probably will for a while longer.  she is just so little and sleeps SO well.  and, let’s be honest, i am not interested in changing all her bedding several times a week.  she has dry diapers 2-3 nights a week, but that is not enough for me to take the plunge quite yet….

mental/emotional: emmeline is a talker.  i am amazed and entertained by her daily.  she sings and tells us things constantly.  she knows the full alphabet song – she went from a few letters and lots of mumbling to full articulation of the song and chorus in a matter of a couple of days.  it’s craziness.  she counts to 15 or so (maybe higher – she usually loses interest or starts giggling around 15), but it’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, eleven, 8, 9, 10, 11….cracks me up every time.  she’s also associating counting with numbering objects (as opposed to just naming the numbers from memory), which is fascinating to me.  we have that book click clack 123 and she counts the animals while pointing to them up to about 7 or 8 (which is the pigs, who she likes to point out are naked and then laugh).  for books that we read frequently, ek loves to complete the sentence.  her favorite right now is madeline (especially the page where madeline says “pooh-pooh” to the tiger at the zoo).  she’s really in to the night before Christmas right now, since we’ve been talking a lot about santa, the holidays, etc. 

emme is very attached to her “buddies” at school.  she talks about them and gets randomly fascinated with various ones each day.  she is obsessed with “bo-bos”, our word for small injuries.  she will invent a bo-bo on her own body and tell me about how one of her friends fell and got a bo-bo at school.  she will also try to doctor what she perceives as bo-bo’s on me…little does she know, most of it is just scars or random skin flaws i’ve acquired over the past 31 years.  anyway…i love that nurturing aspect of her little personality. 

i can get super frustrated with certain aspects of her school, but as a whole, i cannot say enough about what a montessori education has done for emme and our family.  i love seeing her curiosity and her engagement with the world. 

personality: emme kay is spunky and stubborn and a blast.  she is dramatic and silly.  a few stories to illustrate:

last night, we were wrapping up dinner and she had stolen my fork and had her fork.  she grabbed justin’s hand and asked if she could “cut his nails” with the forks.  then she started singing “where is thumbkin”, which is the song i sing to her when cutting her nails.  it was so endearing. 

also last night, we were winding down and getting snuggled up to read bedtime stories.  justin was still messing with her a little bit – pretending to bite her baby’s foot and growling.  she put her hand on his hand/baby and looked right at him and said “no, daddy.  it’s time for bed”. 

lately, when she is not in the mood to play/wrestle, she will tell us no and that we’re hurting her.  so dramatic.  when she does want to play, she will thrust her foot toward our faces and demand that we “bite the foot” and immediately erupt into giggles. 

she still points out every object in the sky and now we talk about where that object goes – helicopters and planes go to the airport; birds go to their nests; the moon gets bigger/smaller, etc. 

she could sing ring around the rosey a thousand times a day and thinks falling down is the greatest. 

she likes to be up on the counter exploring while i cook.  
she bosses the dogs around - excuse me, ollie.  kicked off, etta.  she is definitely not scared to tell them what to do, but also gives them lots of affection.  

i could think of a billion other stories and notes, but i am guessing this has already long bored anyone who is not in our immediate family.  i just have to say that parenting this child for the last 2+ years has been more fun and rewarding and delightful than anything i could have ever imagined.  even whenever she frustrates me (with the two of us as stubborn as we are, it definitely happens), i feel so so so lucky that i get to be her mom.  i want time to slow down immediately so i can fully immerse myself in everything she is doing each day, but at the same time i am so excited to see what’s around the corner.  i know people say it all the time, but each age is my favorite age yet.  i adore this little mosquito. 

now, on to the overload of pictures….

34 weeks.

week: 34

baby stats: b2 is roughly the size of a butternut squash or cantelope this week.  4.75-5.8 pounds is the average range, and 17-19 inches.  more fattening and brain growth and development of the central nervous system.  i like to think of these final weeks as the finishing touches.  so fun. 

aversions/cravings: not too bad this week.  justin bought some southern comfort egg nog the other day, and i am exceedingly jealous of that.  as an aside, if you have not tried it and are not diabetic, go get it now.  it's the southern comfort brand (no alcohol in it, duh) and it's near the creamer/milk/etc. in the dairy section of the grocery store in a little quart carton.  black with white lettering.  i will add to this recommendation by saying i think egg nog is disgusting, but this egg nog is one of the more delicious substances on earth....

bump: we have our 34 week appointment tomorrow, so we shall see how things are growing.  i am still feeling relatively normal in terms of size.  i think i was full-on huge with ek at this point, so even if i look massive to the outside world, i don't feel nearly as massive as last time, so that is a nice change.  particularly since stupid texas refuses to participate in december and our weather has been in the 80s.  ugh.  

worries: pretty good this week.  we had a really busy and productive weekend, and i have an appointment tomorrow, so those are usually recipes for a saner me.  i called the midwife last week to discuss my fasting levels and she still thinks i'm good without meds, so that is awesome.  really hoping to keep that up, but it feels like every day is harder. 

boy or girl?: i had a dream last night that we were at an appointment with my ob and she told us it was a boy and then was like "oh, wait, you STILL didn't want to know?  it's just a few more weeks."  haha.  in my dream, justin cried with joy over it being a boy, so i'm not sure what that says about my subconscious pressure.  ha. 

missing the most: not waking up in the middle of the night to pee.  being able to stay awake past 9:30. 

pregnancy milestone: nothing major this week.  the pain in my pelvis is pretty amazing and earlier i think (or at least at this intensity) than with emme.  my chiro did adjust the pubic bone last week because i'm out of alignment there and i am still sore from that.  fun fun. 

big girl room.

we moved emme in to her big girl room some time around labor day.  but, it's really only now that i can call her room almost finished.  sigh.  projects take a long time around these parts.  i've been way too exhausted in the evenings to get much done these days, and the weekends are like a whirlwind.

in any case, her room was live-able, just not done.  and now, i think it's fairly close to both.  probably 94%.  which is about as much as we complete anything, sadly.

i was torn on the issue of moving emme to a real bed so early - over 2 months before her second birthday.  but, she had slept on pallets on the floor at my parents, and in a real bed while we vacationed in vermont, not to mention the nap mat at school, so i figured she could handle it.  i also wanted to give her plenty of buffer before small smalls was born so she didn't associate him/her with being kicked out of her crib.  finally, the room we moved her in to is right next to the kids' bathroom and i was hopeful that would be a help for potty training.

so.  it was a slow process.  we started talking to her about the room, telling her what things we would put in there, etc.  i picked out fabric for her quilt, which i hoped would be the base of her loose color scheme.  i'm not a theme person, nor am i one to adhere super-strictly to a pallet of any sort, but i knew there needed to be something somewhat cohesive with the room, so i hope i achieved that.  we painted. we dragged in some furniture and bought a couple of other items at target and ikea.  we debated whether to just leave the mattress on the floor - the montessori method recommends that - but ultimately, we thought it really needed to feel like its own space within the room, so we got a low frame from ikea.

the other stuff i wanted to do with the room were things like keeping it super minimal (montessori style), etc.  well, that didn't exactly work.  all of ek's toys were in our living room (the one that has no furniture in it) before, so it was more important to get all that stuff out of the common area than it was to keep her room sparse and monk-like.  it worked out.  i do need to work on de-cluttering some of the stuff that's no longer age appropriate, but for now, i think she's pretty ok with having all her goods at her finger tips.  she's also more than happy to drag it all throughout the house and leave quite the wake. let's just say i sing the restore song a lot.

and, that's it, i guess.  the pictures are all from today on my iphone.  her bed is not usually made (i wish i could lie and say it was), mainly because i can't deal with the belly and the reaching into the far corner, and emme is not big/skilled enough to make her own bed, and justin doesn't care about made beds at all.  but everything else is mostly as it usually is.  emme has done amazingly well with her big girl room.  it took 2 or 3 nights to adjust to the new sleeping sitch, but since then she has loved every second of it.  she still calls us to come get her in the morning/after nap instead of getting out of bed, which i love.  she's potty trained except for nights, and it's great having her bathroom right there.

please excuse the blown-out christmas tree and table lamp, and the darkness of the photos.  i'm doing the best i can....

 sitting area with blocks, puzzles, and (currently) christmas tree.

 bed!

 more books (they are taking over our lives - i love it), justin's old brio train set in the toy box.

 animals on shelves...probably need a few more shelves as it's pretty crowded up there...

giving thanks.

i'm hoping santa starts delivering new imacs some time in december because we really really need one so we can get back to posting all the pretty, nice pictures that justin takes.  our 1 TB hard drive is completely full and he's got all kinds of video projects (the paying, work-related kind) on there, so our family photos have taken a side seat since like june.  sigh.  anyway....for now i will keep posting iphone and instagram photos when i make the time to write. 

last week was thanksgiving.  my favorite holiday.  i love that there are no presents and the whole holiday is about eating and resting and spending time with those you love, reflecting on all the wonderful-ness in your life.  or at least, that is what i try to make the holiday about. 

this year, we spent the day at our friend wendy's parents' house in marble falls - a little texas town on a lovely lake in the hill country.  it's about an hour drive from austin, so it was perfect.  wendy's mom and aunts and uncles cooked up a feast like you wouldn't believe, and we got to relax inside and outside without having to cook or clean or really be responsible for much of anything.  it was kind of amazing, really.  the highlight of the day for me was when the boys were all shooting (and missing) a bb gun at this bell.  i was ready to leave (er, emme was ready to leave), and justin was taking his time.  i asked for a shot and hit the bell on the first pull.  it was a great moment for me - i love showing people up.  haha. 

my parents had a wedding the day after t-day, and i had lots of work and am 33 weeks pregnant, so since it didn't work out to spend the weekend with them, we were really delighted to be included in another family's festivities.  of course i missed my own mom's cooking - especially the cornbread dressing! - but we more than made the best of being apart. 

the rest of the long weekend was incredible, even if it was nothing super special/eventful.  we took the dogs for some walks, got our christmas tree, smoked a turkey and made turkey/sausage gumbo, watched a couple of movies (brave and the new spider man), watched football, hung lights on the roof, washed a zillion loads of laundry, including baby things, and hung shelves in ek's bedroom (only 3 months later!).  we literally never have days off with no one in town where we don't have to go anywhere, so i relished the time and really really really could have used at least one (but ideally like eight) more days to finish up projects, start new projects, take naps.  ha. 

in the spirit of thanksgiving, i would like to acknowledge that i have so so so much to be thankful for, big and small.  i'm grateful for the relationship i have with my parents - they are really supportive and really helpful and i love that i am friends with them.  i'm grateful for justin - he makes me laugh all the time and watching his relationship with emme is one of the greatest joys in my life.  i'm grateful for emme - i still don't know how i got to be this girl's mom...she amazes and delights me all the time and i don't think i comprehended "love you more every day" until i met her.  i'm grateful for our good health, including this healthy pregnancy.  health should never ever be taken for granted.  i'm grateful for our warm, comfortable home - even if it's not "the" neighborhood we want to live in someday.  i'm grateful for my job - even if i hate it most of the time, i am really lucky to be able to work in a place that is safe and flexible for good money and insurance.  i'm grateful for my love of animals...pets are an intense joy for me, no matter how much i complain about pippa's meowing or etta's neurosis.  i'm grateful for books and crappy television shows and roasted baby carrots with garlic and goat cheese and internet tutorials and cold fronts and math and potty training and coffee (and decaf) and online shopping and being able to sew and friendships and flip flops and mexican food and having perfect vision and gift certificates and baths and the smell of pine and midwivery and babies and chapstick and phone cameras and naps.  it's a good life. 

 hot cocoa with cameron (still delicious, even in 70 degree weather). 

 cuddle time with daddy and all the baby dolls (he will be so pleased i posted this pic). 

 grabbing a quick (and not nearly long enough) nap on the way to marble falls.

 helping wendy feed baby dillon. 

 the beginnings of a (mediocre) turkey and sausage gumbo. 

 showing folks how it's done. 

 good boy. 

helping daddy trim the tree.  she hugged several trees over the course of this experience. 

33 weeks.

week: 33

baby stats: for fruit this week, we've got durian fruit (what is that?) and pineapple.  so, a little over 4 pounds and probably around 17-18 inches.  this week is supposedly a growth spurt week and smalls is running out of room in my uterus, according to the internet.  ha. skeleton is hardening and wrinkles are decreasing, so s/he is looking more like a newborn every day. 

aversions/cravings: i want a big cheeseburger with grilled onions from five guys.  and a few sips of coke.  and french fries.  but mostly i'm ok. 

bump: measuring exactly at 33 weeks or so, so that is nice - i guess i can assume that doesn't mean i am going to have a 16 pounder...at our appointment on wednesday, smalls had flipped to head down (YAY!), so i am excited that things seems to be moving in the right direction.  a random idiot i work with just told me i look like i'm about to pop, but i don't think i'm anywhere close to the about to pop stage. 

worries: i'm doing ok.  the holiday was stupendous for my mental state - i had a chiro appointment, obgyn appointment, massage (from my birthday gift back in august), and 5 days off with my cute family.  my blood sugar has been in check - the midwife told me the fasting levels in the morning are the most important, and there's not a ton i can actually do about those, so we will keep an eye on them and decide whether or not to medicate.  so far, i'm staying below 95 more days than not, so no meds yet.  hoping to stay that way so i can avoid an induction and pharmaceutical intervention. 

boy or girl?: emme still says girl.  i still say boy.  justin changes his mind daily. 

missing the most: being able to comfortably hold my toddler, and get up and down from the floor with ease. 

pregnancy milestone: i made it through my first holiday with gestational diabetes.  ha!  i think christmas will be much harder (and longer), but i did well for thanksgiving and it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be.  i also got almost all the bebe's clothes/bedding/blankets/etc. washed this weekend, so that is huge.  i even washed my boppy and will pick up a new cover for it and then be pretty much ready, i think.  need to set up the bassinet and find/buy a new bouncy chair and probably some 0-3 month clothes, but mostly things are getting there.  my sprinkly last week was really nice - i have some lovely friends.