the terrific twos.

some mornings i am not a great parent. i wish this weren't true, and i wish these mornings were fewer and farther between, but man. some days are just hard.

jb leaves for work usually by 7ish at the latest. this is around the same time the kids are waking up. he is really amazing about doing as much for them/me/the house as he can before heading out, but i still cover the lion's share of the morning wrangling solo.

this morning, i was super tired. in spite of the whole30 goodness i've been putting in my body and the amazing sleep i've been getting up until this point, i did not sleep well saturday night or sunday night. saturday night i had a beastly headache and kept waking up because it hurt so badly. sunday night...well, who knows? i was already tired, but i had a weird dry cough (allergies maybe?) and hollis was sleeping restlessly and making noise, so i kept waking up too. i moved to the guest bed, but no dice. just a rough night of sleep - it happens.

but then. i couldn't get out of my funk/tired/grumpiness. so i took it out on the kids, and now i just feel awful about it. ek is obsessed with this long-sleeved dress that's wayyyy too warm for the summery weather we're having, and i was short and impatient with her, telling her she couldn't wear it. she started crying immediately, and i did manage to reel it in and apologize, telling her i was out of line because i was tired and whatnot. but still - she didn't do anything wrong, and on any other day i probably would have just let her wear the dress. ugh.

anyway. then there was hollis. he woke up fairly sweet and full of love, but this dude is really embracing all that is tales of the "terrible" twos right now. he is sassy and explosive and he can get so emotional. he also loses it over nothing. this morning it was not wanting to put shoes on, which he was hysterical about for a while, until he dropped the bite of banana he'd been holding for like 40 minutes on the floor of the car. so, it was covered in leaves and dog hair, so i threw it away. which accelerated his tailspin even further, so when i dropped him off he was just a wreck. i tried to calm him, hold him, soothe him, but it just wasn't making a dent and i didn't have the energy to deal with irrational two year-old drama. which just leaves me feeling like crap for the whole day.

tomorrow is another day, right?