the rest of april and a roly poly.

we are starting to formulate a routine, slowly .  it's easiest on days when i can work from home.  i wake up first, shower, start the motions.  prep the bottles, unload the dishwasher, feed the pets, let the dogs out, start breakfast, stuff the diapers, start a load of laundry.  all the things.  most days i feel like i see my children in a blur through the morning.  hollis usually wakes up late - a ball of chub and warmth in my spot in the bed.  some mornings i wake him just in time to change his diaper and clothes, give him his heart meds, and get him into his carseat.  we have to wake emme up earlier than that since she has so many opinions these days - about what she will wear to school, what and how she will eat breakfast, when she will conduct the rest of her morning chores.  but i still try to wait until the last possible minute, balancing that seesaw of the importance of sleep and my intense desire to spend time with her.  it's harder when i have to get myself ready too - find relatively clean clothes, avoid getting spit up on, throw on a layer of mascara and some work-appropriate shoes.  but most days we make it out the door with few, if any, tears, full bellies, and warm coffee in my mug.
the evenings are still the witching hours - you never know what you're going to get.  some days emme is exuberant, rambunctious, wanting to help or at least willing to play independently.  some days she is overly tired, cranky, the poster-child of two and a half year old moodiness.  sometimes, hollis can plow through until his favorite time of day: bath time.  but some days he is fussy and tired, hungry and discontented.  some days i am successful in getting him down for a mini-nap before the bedtime routine begins, but i question how good that extra sleep is for a child that is adamantly refusing to go more than a few hours between night wakings.  despite this, i still manage to get a somewhat functional dinner on the table so that we can eat as a family when justin gets home from work.  meal planning (when we manage to do it) is a life saver.  after dinner, it's haul everyone to the bath, lotion, clean jammies, cuddles.  emme has created an intermission in our normal progression from bath to jammies to books to bed.  now, she demands "a little bit of dancing" in the living room, usually while i'm putting hollis down.  she is turning in to quite the little dancer - twirling and jumping and shaking, getting out the last energy from the day.  once hollis is asleep, justin and i read books to ek in her bed and talk about her day.  i love the things she mentions from her day - the caterpillar she saw under a leaf, the tomatoes growing in her garden, the work she did with her buddies at school.  she always lists every item that was in her lunch that day.  we end the day with jb turning out the lights and she and i snuggle for prayers and a closed-eye recitation of goodnight moon.
hollis started rolling from tummy to back last week.  he also started laughing and it's a joyful little sound.  for the cranky dude he was for most of his first three months, he is really turning in to quite the happy little chublet.  he and i are completely in love - i can't get enough of all his rolls, his soft baby skin, his big gummy smile.  he is not a good night sleeper, but i'm trying to let him have his own journey.  a good night is one where i get three uninterrupted hours, and i haven't had many of those.  but in the grand scheme of my life, these nights awake with my baby are so few and short.  he doesn't love taking a bottle, so he's not eating enough during the day, hence the compensation of nursing half the night.  there are worse things and i know i will miss these nights when they are gone.  that being said, it is hard to be on my a-game, both at work and emotionally, when i haven't slept more than three hours in a row in nearly four months.
anyway.  i'm trying really hard to slow it down a little and focus on all the magical little things about this time, rather than concentrate on all the things i'm not doing - like exercising, sweeping the floor daily, crafting, organizing, running the dogs, etc etc etc.  it really is an amazing thing to be in this life with these little people who are so interesting and learning so much every day.