well, that didn't happen. she hid behind me and acted like a total brat in the dentist's office. i was so embarrassed (i know that's ridiculous, but i was). i finally persuaded her to sit in the dentist's chair, but she hid her face and refused to open her mouth for the hygienist. after 15 minutes of asking, telling, begging, bribing, threatening, turning it into a game, etc., i told her we needed to leave. she perked up and said "ok, can we go to chick fil-a now?" and i said of course not because she didn't hold up her end of the deal.
enter complete and total meltdown in the parking lot/car. she was screaming and crying and pitching an amazing fit. it made me SO upset that i started crying on the ride home. sigh. she has brought it up again several times last night and this morning, so i know she's thinking about it and processing her decisions...it's just so hard to know how to handle stuff like that. i also think she knows the dentist is going to tell her to stop sucking her thumb, so there is probably some anxiety about that because she's not ready to quit.
anyway. we ended up letting her go to dance class because we pay for it and i needed a few minutes of relative quiet. i hung out with hollis and when she got home we had a nice bedtime routine and ended the day on a good note.
i'm working on not extrapolating one bad day/incident into the overarching definition of my child. i'm working on not thinking i'm a terrible parent on the whole just because i lose my temper on occasion. i'm working on figuring out a method that works for all of us...that's a little gentler and gets the job done more effectively.
I'm convinced that there is nothing like a three year old girl to make a mother question everything about herself and her mothering. I cried myself to sleep at night at times when Ellie was that age because I was so convinced I was doing everything wrong. I've learned (a bit) since then and I've come to the conclusion that at that age, kids just have so many awesome qualities that are just too big for them and it just takes time to learn how to manage them in positive ways. We used to get called to Ellie's little Sunday school class because she was jumping off the chairs and turning off the lights and I could have died of embarrassment from her behavior. But she's grown into such a delightful girl now, with a passion for life, and determination, and love of being busy all the time. It was just hard to tame all that fire in her three year old self, but it will happen. Emme will grow into herself and be amazing and you'll laugh at how worried you were. At least I laugh at my self.
ReplyDeleteWe must have the same child. Ariana got her costumes for dancing last week and the moms were allowed in to see their dance. On the way I had talked to her and told her the mommies would be watching and would she please dance. She said yes, so I was optimistic. Of course when the moms we're let in and the girls starting dancing, mine stood there with her fingers in her ears. The entire 2 minutes. I was so embarrassed. I was so upset, and I know it's such a silly thing to get mad about, but I was crying on the way home. Once I calmed down and talked to her more she told me the mommies watching make her scared. :( so I felt horrible for the rest of the week. I feel like the worst mom in the world and that I'll never be as good as my mom was. But all we can do is try to be patient and learn from our mistakes. I mean, we're smart, we can figure this out. Right?
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