thoughts on birth part two: natural birth (or, why i'm kind of maybe sorta a masochist).

i don't enjoy pain.  i don't think it takes me to some magical, transcendent place where i become steeped in the knowledge of the universe or anything like that.  but i do think that sometimes pain is part of an experience, and it can engrain that experience more fully into your being.  sort of the no pain, no gain philosophy, but maybe a gentler version of that.  in any case, it's probably why i chose to run a marathon (and will hopefully do more), why i have made bad relationship choices, why i will always have dogs even though i have experienced the loss of dogs that i've loved immensely.  you get the idea.  the pain, for me, highlights and contrasts the joy of the other side - finishing the race, meeting jb, all the great life-filled experiences with the dogs.

so it stands to reason that i, being a person who craves a life full of experiences, would want to give the whole un-medicated birth thing a try.  so that's what i'm going to try to do.  it's not really a whole lot more complicated than that.  i feel like women have been doing this for a long long time.  and our bodies are made to do it, and our babies are made to come out.  it's natural.  it's also temporary, which for me is a big deal. i've watched lots of birth videos by this point in the whole experience, and i am always struck by the amazing contrast between that last push and the look of utter and complete relief and bliss moments later.  as a person who doesn't even really like to take advil when i have a headache, i think the anticipation of that relief can get me through the whole ordeal...especially knowing that the other side of the ordeal is my little nibs.

i guess that's really it.  for those that are curious, the birthing class we're taking is hypnobirthing and it's really focused on changing the associations your brain has with birth.  they talk about a fear-tension-pain cycle that we try to break.  meaning, most people have fear associated with birth (from other peoples' crazy stories and the drama that always accompanies birth in tv/movies, etc).  birth is portrayed as this insanely painful and scary and crazy ordeal, which creates tension.  when you're tense, your body doesn't respond in "normal" ways, so things that your body is actually capable of doing become more painful because of that tension.  anyway....they change the language around birth and encourage you to trust the whole process and your body's capabilities.

as a friend recently said, no one wins a medal for waiving meds during birth.  that is absolutely true.  no one asks your high school student if his mom had an epidural when he was born.  this is just my thing...i'm a sucker for a challenge....